For Short - April 2013

Welcome back, Dear Readers! USA readers, hope you've put your taxes to bed and all's right with the world.

We've been hard at work on our web series BLOGJOB. Latest Director's Vlog below:
Episode 4 to come later this week. There was a delay, because we had a short-term dayjob. Our dayjob severely interfered with our BLOGJOB.

Watch, comment, share, twart. It only takes a second. It's so easy. Hit that Paypal button at right, show us you love us. Yussssss.

To the puzzle!

Wait first, some news: several Dear Readers were kind enough to alert the TackyHarpersCrypticClues.blogspot.com staff that Harper's has made the entirety of the puzzle archive available in an easily served up URL. Hot dang! Should you still require a reason to invest in a subscription, consider that requirement fulfilled:
harpers.org/departments/puzzle

At last, to the puzzle for real-real:

Theme answers, unclued and entered by inference, were all alternate names for the devil:

3A) BEELZEBUB
17A) THE EVIL ONE
38A) SATAN
41A) OLD SCRATCH
48A) THE TEMPTER
7D) BELIAL (had to look this one up)
9D) PRINCE OF DARKNESS
37D) LUCIFER

Circled letters yielded a jumble for NICKNAMES, as in names for Old Nick. When we gave Finnegan's Wake a try in 2008, we latched on to references of "Mick vs Nick," aka the archangel Michael versus Satan. It was a slippery handhold in a maelstrom of a book. We got maybe 40%? 50% through? Then lost heart and read Infinite Jest instead. Different maelstrom. Much more satisfying.

Kindof strange and thrilling to delve into the black occult this puzzle.

open question: is there a relationship between Old Saint Nick and the devil?

Highlights!

• 11A) Word for four years of George Bush (4)
  (double synonym) = TERM

Four letter word! George Bush! A little bit of baiting, here :) Our sister blog BleedingHeartLiberalHarpersCrypticClues.blogspot.com would not be amused.

George W. Bush jokes didn't go anywhere. They're right here.

• 12A) I was fired in just one war—Europe (9)
  juST ONE WAR Europe = STONEWARE

Daring. Glorious.

• 16A) A welcome fish (3)
  A + (welcome = HI) = AHI

YES. Nice and neat. Like Maltby takes his scotch [we assume].

• 18A) Swindlers left protected by Hells Angels, e.g. (7)
  (Hells Angels e.g. = BIKERS) + (left = L) = BILKERS

Makes us think of Sgt. Bilko. And Sons of Anarchy.

• 22A) Pick top off (3)
  TOP * (off = anagram) = OPT

Mm! Another short sweet one. Simple, but so tight! Love.

• 25A) Lionize artist in rehabilitation getting clean (13)
  LIONIZE ARTIST * (rehabilitation = anagram) = STERILIZATION

Another audacious exquisite anagram! Mwa! Just, lavish! Also, shout-out to our girl Lindsay L, headed to rehab again, putting a brave face on it on the Letterman show. Call it lip service if you like, but we know firsthand how hard it is for an addict to say, "I take responsibility for my actions." Solidarity, sister.

• 26A) In sight of Cyclops, it might help if improper come-on captures Helen's heart (7)
  (COME ON + (Helen's heart = L)) * (improper = anagram) = MONOCLE

Elegant and fully committed reference to the Odyssey.

• 36A) Loafer doesn't need this solace—he needs exercising (8)
  (SOLACE + HE) * (exercising = anagram) = SHOELACE

Loafer don't need this! YES

• 42A) Criminal litigants, e.g., circumvent copper, making waves (13)
  (Criminal = anagram) * (LITIGANTS + EG + (copper = CU)) = GESTICULATING

Spectacular. A little bit of a gimme to grab the anagrind, but you know how we feel about these massive anagrams. We loves them.

• 49A) Nuns are commanded! (7)
  ORDERED (double synonym)

Another nice sweet double syn. Mm.

Mildly related, the other month we were checking out Netflix for entertainment and Nude Nuns with Big Guns came up. "Ooh, that looks like a fun romp!" we thought. Campy exploitation like Machete we thought.

O good grief no, it was awful. It hurt us to watch. It hurt us in our hearts. Granted, we are an especially sensitive and feeling person. For instance, talking about a Yelp review the other morning for Hassan at Andersonville Tech moved us to tears of happiness.

But this film. Best avoided. Go watch The Man with the Iron Fists instead. Or Kill Bill.

• 1D) A squint at miss rubs the wrong way (10)
  AT MISS RUBS * (wrong way = anagram) = STRABISMUS

Had only vaguely heard of this affliction, but mm! Loved! Sweet like a strawberry. And nice narrative flow to the clue.

• 14D) Victory—it extends into where the wizard is a famous agent (5)
  (Victory = V) + IT + (where the wizard is = OZ) = OVITZ

Mmm! Delightful. We love clues about wizards. Wish it coulda beena secret agent, like Valerie Plame or similar, but we'll take Michael O.

• 19D) List in wind (4)
  ROLL (double synonym)

Wind like "wind up the film in the cassette tape." Roll like "roll call! Ten hut!" Fantastic. Tight, taut, perfect. Nous en adorons.

• 34D) For one who has come out, a bit of testosterone is a liability (4)
  (one who has come out = DEB) + (bit of testosterone = T) = DEBT

Didn't parse if this is a knowing wink directed to fellow travelers and some trans/genderqueer pride on display or just Fun with Homosexuality. Didn't matter. In either case, we love.

Can't quite shoehorn it into a lean narrative, but this clue hints at a general sensitivity to and awareness of Queer Orthodoxy which complements our own hypersensitivity to and awareness of Queer Orthodoxy. Once BLOGJOB is done, our next show is going to be EVERYBODY HATES BISEXUALS. Note that: BLOGJOB might not be done for a long long time. The title of the show that comes after will be EDITING TAKES FOR-FOCKING-EVER.

Lowlights!

• 13A) Organic compound, only spelled backwards (4)
  (only = LONE) * backwards = ENOL

Puzzle-ese! Boo. Enol you are evol. You make us feel anal.

See how much you don't care about ENOL?

• 15A) In botany, it covers cutting the second of this month (4)
  (this month = APRIL) - the second = ARIL

More puzzle-ese! Gross. Just as bad as ENOL. Just as bad!

• 28A) Sports fans' Mustangs? Right from start, initially, they're all blue (6)
  (Sports fans' Mustangs = SMU) + (Right from start) = SMURFS

Ew. Inferred this from the fill, then spent an absurd amount of time trying to figure out why. It seeeeeemed like there was a way to work it from the letters there in the clue but no, no no, no, you needed to know some specificity about sports. Southern Methodist University. Cool school, broh.

• 50A) Second manuscript that is returned—you can find fault in this! (5)
  (Second = S) + ((manuscript = MS) + (that is = I E) * reverse) = SEISM

Seism? Like "seismic"? Is a word? This clue? Is a clue? That counts as a clue? Gross. We find fault in this.

• 3D) Touching letters from supporter sick with envy (just a tad) (7)
  (supporter = BRA) + (sick = ILL) + (envy = E) = BRAILLE

We enjoyed "touching letters" as equivalent to Braille, but, grrr. Sick and tired of "supporter" for bra. When will "supporter" mean "codpiece"? CODPIECE!


And btw, Dougray Scott (above) is this month's Nerd Hot Guy. But since we brought in Val Kilmer as the Bat, honorable mention goes to the Kilm in Real Genius.

Can has eyeliner yussssssss!

• 5D) Chestiest models—it's a matter of taste (9)
  CHESTIEST * (models = anagram) = ESTHETICS

Sigh. Another clue about boobies. That said, we adore this sketch starring the superb Olivia Munn:

• 20D) A speaker's excessive—get it on for dancing (4)
  (excessive = TOO TOO) * homophone = TUTU

Meh. Too too simple.

• 31D) My singers working together as a group? (9)
  MY SINGERS * (working = anagram) = SYNERGISM

O awful! The '80s are over! "Synergy" is no longer a thing! "Synergism" even less so! Why not go whole hog with "synergology" or "synergistics"? Why stop the bad train when it's already railroaded through Sensible Actual Word Junction???


[ ... actually looks up "synergism" on etymonline ... ]

Oh. Ok, it's a word.

synergism (n.)
1650s, "theological doctrine that human will cooperates with divine grace in regeneration," from Modern Latin synergismus, from Greek synergos "working together" (see synergy). Used in a broader (non-theological) sense by 1925.

• 33D) River in South America and a river below it (4)
  (South America = SA) + A + (river = R) = SAAR

Hate when propers are tucked away in the fill's cul de sac like that. Saar? You hearda? Is beautiful, tho:

• 43D) Sow seen by yokels? (4)
  SEED (double synonym)

Didn't we just do the redneck "seen = seed" thing? Didn't we? No, jk, that was "ate = et". In January. Anyway. We're from Vermont. This isn't how rednecks talk, it's how other people think rednecks talk. Like how Foghorn Leghorn doesn't pronounce his Rs, because he's a Yankee's idea of how Southerners talk. Real Southernors say their Rs.

Disgracefully, native Georgian Julia Roberts gave in to such stereotypes in Steel Magnolias.

and the Tacky!

• 35A) Young person died inside trunk (4)
  (Young person = BOY) + (died = D) = BODY

Gruesome. And male gender normative.

So: child murder. And sexism.

Boo, Maltby. Boo.

We were not saying Boo-urns.

Did you have a good time? Tell us in the c-c-c-comments!

Title Search - March 2013

Before we get into the puzzle, first up: our web series launched this week!

Title: BLOGJOB 
Tagline: "Giving blogjobs is a terrible way to make a living." 
Episode 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rObgJH4eJLE

A web series about fake Internet, and the people who write it.

If you like this blog and think it's funny, you should definitely check out the show. And leave comments. And give it thumbs up. And talk about it on your social networks like Faceface, Tweeter, etc.

Episode 2 live this Sunday, March 17th! Or Monday (read: probably Monday).

Ok now for the puzzle.


We picked out an egregious cellphone-ese reference as the tacky clue this month. There was a BRA clue flipping and flopping we coulda gone for instead (low-hanging fruit) (37D, see Lowlights below). But really, the whole darm puzzle was tacky as fack.

The theme: "Title Search": figure out the cute four-word phrase implied by the fill, then follow its instructions. We completed this puzzle, lazily, while riding public transportation down to Hyde Park on Valentine's Day. Ok so about three clues deep into solving, and with the el having traveled not even south of Bryn Mawr (still well on the North Side), we had solved three clues that included "X" in the answer.

"Heh, X marks the spot," we thought to ourself.

More solving, more Xs. Xs forming diagonals through the puzzle. "Wait, really? We were just joking before ... " we thought.

And then, in a plot twist so conventional no one could have predicted it, the spot that X marks? Dead center.

Do you hear that? It's the good citizens of Puzzle Nation muttering, "whoopdy woo."


Except, jk jk, the actual spot marked is the isolated X in the east. Weird. Ok fine. Did not pick up on that.

The "X" theme was audacious and ambitious, and we applaud audacity. But there were many gimme-easy clues in service of ambition. Several outlandish crosses and adjacents. AXIS and MAXIS in the northeast, for instance. SEX and REX and (the nerve!) SEXTUPLET in the center. PIXEL and PIXY in the southwest. ROXY and pROXIEs.

Lotta brands. Lotta repeats from recent puzzles. There were so many Roman numerals s'like Richard E. Maltby, Jr. just  gave up on any other possible way to bring in X, I, or V.

"There's no other way! All roads lead to more Roman numeralzz!!!!!!"
—Richard E. Maltby Jr.

That said, there were a couple of beautiful clues. Lotta wordspanners (hidden clues), and you know we love thems. And much as our BRA got all twisted up about the repeaty crosses, it was nice to see both ORYXES and ELANd. A little wink to Classic Puzzling Antelope Varietals. And several clues exemplary of that highest light we so adore: those that are logical well-formed sentences unto themselves, smooth and perfect. Clues that read like phrases you could find in The New York Times, with the puzzle register only audible to the initiated.

So. Wa'n't all bad.  The good clues salvaged some bits of enjoyment out of the experience, like a couple chocolate chips in an old vat of soy mint ice cream covered in freezer burn.

Highlights!

• 1A) Alien avoiding people repairing phone boxes (10)
  PHONE BOXES * anagram = XENOPHOBES

Oh how we love these beautiful anagrams! Mm! Exquisite :)

• 13A) "Movie theater seating inside"—clear oxymoron (4)
  cleaR OXYmoron = ROXY

Wordspanners. We love.

• 27A) Material expands out! (7)
  EXPANDS * anagram = SPANDEX

Mmm! Highest light! So tight! Beautiful. Sexy. Another brand, tho. Sigh.

Come to think, surprising that "Brand X" doesn't make an appearance in this puzzle. Nor xenomorphs.

Nor any of the other cool XENOs.

• 35A) Storied princess or Australian mummy? (4)
  (Australian = OZ) + (mummy = MA) = OZMA

We first thought this was going to be a reference to Anastasia, last czarina of Russia. But it's better than we hoped! Also love "Oz" = "Aus." Means emphasizing that lazy buzzy "s" in "Australia." Also emphasizes the other-ness of the place. We can't wait to travel there #someday.

• 38A) It's noble when there's nobody back following Sargent's madame (5)
  (Sargent's madame = X) + (nobody = NONE) * (back = reverse) = XENON

Can't do an X theme without XENON! Never hearda John Singer Sargent's Madame X but we were glad when we did. Va va va voom.

• 43A) Announcing choices will, quickly, but that's just part of the picture (5)
  ((choices = PICKS) + (will, quickly = 'LL)) * homophone = PIXEL

This one makes us laugh. "will" = "'ll" YES.

Q. I am a pig; please describe the manner of my performance. 
A. That performance 'll do, pig.

Speaking of which, James Cromwell is this month's Nerd Hot Guy. Boom kaboom, JC!

CROOOOOOoOOOOOOooOOOMMMMMMM!!!!

• 46A) Speaking of eggs, it is way out (4)
  EGGS IT * homophone = EXIT

Ahhhhh dying of awesome! Eggsactly!!!!!

• 19D) Exult when interbreeding with pets to produce a bit of a litter (9)
  (EXULT + PETS) * anagram = SEXTUPLET

Mmm! Beautiful! We exult in this glorious anagram.

• 29D) Quickly, say (7)
  EXPRESS

One of that highest light! Oooh so tight! Run your fingers over it, just: seamless!

Lowlights!

• 18A) One Latin among male and female brewers (7)
  (One = I) + (Latin = L) + (male and female = SEXES) = SILEXES

Like the brand of coffeepots lovingly crafted alongside Proctor. Meh!

• 40A) Cute little thing starting duets for piano and xylophone (4)
  starting duets * (PIano + XYlophone)  = PIXY

We just had a PIXY clue we just had one. In January.

• 48A) Campus luminary, creator of Pyrex (5)
  PYREX * anagram = PREXY

Like the president of a university or college? "Oh prexy, you're so sexy"?

Gross. Always annoying when the "anagram" requires a single letter translation. Like when Lisa Simpson's at that smart girl's house and the smart girl anagrinds "genuine class" out of "Alec Guinness" and then Lisa's supposed to do "Jeremy Irons" and comes up with "Jeremy's ... iron?" She feels so lame, so ashamed. Perhaps she'd be reassured by this clue.

"Prexy" is also like the only possible anagram from "Pyrex" just by running the algorithm of "letters that can be next to each other and yield intelligible sounds to the English language speaker." We know that you know that algorithm. It's very closely related to the "there's only one open square left in the fill but I don't know the answer and now I run through the entire alphabet" algorithm. Always a bad sign when you have to run that one.

• 50A) Mother cut off mold in breakfast food (4)
  (mold = MATRIX) - (Mother = MA) = TRIX

"Mold" as in "pattern" as in "matrix." As in "they broke the mold," which we thought for a loooong time was "they broke them old."

Not that "they broke the mold" makes tremendous sense. Who are "they"? The gods? The nanites? What mold? Are most people "from the mold"? Is the phrase just [yet] an[other] elaborate construction and obfuscation for "I love you"? Or is there a backhanded edge to it, like, "[good thing] they broke the mold [because it would be bad if there were more of you]"?

Anyway.

Trix as in Trix. Brands. Corporations. Culture. Great.

image by deckronomicon

Sigh.

• 1D) Sign of times: psychiatrist's sexual drive is drying up (7)
  (Sign of times = X) + (psychiatrist's sexual drive = EROS) + IS = XEROSIS

It's like excema, maybe? A dry skin thing. An obscure word just cuz of the X theme. Cool clue, bro.
confidential to Maltby: that means "not cool, bro."

• 28D) Upper floor of a ship, third level, say? (4)
  (floor of a ship, third level = DECK C) * homophone = DEXY

"Dexy" as in "uppers" as in dexedrine. First, way to force the homophone.

Also, do people really say "dexy"? We thought people say "dex." Maybe they say "dexy." Dear readers if you take dexy and you say "dexy," then apologies for denying your reality.

• 31D) Thanks to God, just the starter in hockey team cut from video (3)
  VIDEO - (hockey team = VI) = DEO

We like and support hockey players. But this is a weird way to clue "VI." You gotta pass the thought through the following filters:

      hockey team => six people on the team => Roman numeral six => VI

Why not Vi instead?

“People who prefer Emacs never gave Vi a chance ... ”

•  32D) One involved in a row outside that hurts people initially—it can produce a bum steer! (6)
  (One involved in a row = COX) + (that hurts = OW) + (people initially = P)  = COWPOX

Cox & Row like vodka? Like this vodka? Never hearda.

• 37D) They support Westchester's center forward (5)
  (They support = BRAS) + (Westchester's center = H) = BRASH

The bra clue! Just once can we get a JOCKSTRAP can we get a CODPIECE can we get a MANZIERRE can we get male bodies in the puzzle can we get some Y-chromosomal support? Can we?

• 44D) Unofficial news release, not a change in Albania (3)
  (Unofficial news release = LEAK) + (not a = -A) = LEK

We just did lek. We just did it. In, lek, November. UGH we don't lek these repeats!

The Tacky!

• 11D) Big picture shows: statement Bo Derek might have texted?
  IM A (Bo Derek = X) = IMAX

No. Just, no.

Source: IMDB

Bo Derek was not texting in 1979. In the years since, even if she may not have transcended her work in 10 playing the role later reprised by Mena Suvari in American Beauty (modern cognate to 10), and even if she is just as hung up on her flesh-colored one-piece suit as every cultural reference to her is, we guarantee: she has never, ever texted any person "Im a X."

Q: Pls describ yr appearnce.
Bo Derek: Im a X.
Q: IMAX?
BD: No, I'm a TEN. On a scale of 1 to 10.
Q. O y didnt u say so?
BD: Like the movie I was in.
Q. Wot movie?
BD Ten.
Q. U wer in ten movies?

The Memorable Quotes page for "10" on IMDB does not include a single quote from Bo's character. And no good ones for Julie Andrews's character, either. Sigh.

But then, guys don't got it any better. In a world with eyes, we're alla us judged on our faces and bodies. Will Vin Diesel ever be cast as a John Nash?

In other news, homegirl still look good. UR A X BO

Source: Wikipedia

Update on the Smell

For those Dear Readers curious about the weird sweet smell in our apartment: It got worse and worse. It won the fight.  So we're moving into a unit elsewhere in the neighborhood. We had both maintenance guys (Sergio + Edwin) sniff around and explore, but even the majestic nose of Edwin—like that of an Aztec prince—could neither identify the smell nor find its source. We examined the walls with a fluorescent black light hoping for some real CSI-style crime-fighting insight. We gave the radiators another good scrub. We borrowed an air filter. Nothin'.

Thus, after all this time, we're still only in the discovery + speculation phase of smell identification. Here is the speculation tree:

1. something rotting
   • rotting animal Maybe a colony of bees. Maybe a small mammal. Maybe a nest of rats up in the ventilation. The smell isn't really the smell of death, per se.
   • building detritus Like maybe the insulation is rotting? Or maybe it's mold? While this fits with the "chemical-y" smell, it's strange that the maintenance guys wouldn't recognize it. Least likely.
2. something chemical
   • something in the radiators Like something that shouldn't be there? Like anti-freeze? Glycol's gotta sweetness to it. This is also unlikely, since, wouldn't the neighbors smell it? (the neighbors smell nothing)
   • from downstairs Meth lab? Dexy lab? A particularly nasty brand of hookah smoke? Human behavior fits with the random ebb and flow of the smell, the strength of which doesn't correlate well with time of day or change in weather. But then, again, wouldn't the other neighbors smell it? Unless they're all part of the lab. 

What is it! The mystery gnaws at us! We will, of course, update this blog with the answer should it ever come to light. We have Sergio's cell number. He has ours. We'll be in touch.

Leave a comment. Don't do it because it's right; do it because it feels good.

The Guardian's Cryptic Contest - Feb 26, 2013

We've been lurking around The Guardian's cryptic blog lately. Dear Readers are invited to join us in crushing on Alan Connor:

#hotguy #british

They run a weekly cluing contest in their comments section. G'head and judge us for our immodesty, but we srsly owned last week's contest. Answer: ESPERANTIC. As in "having the qualities of Esperanto."

Our clue (link):

• William Shatner's Incubus looks bad, but funny (10)
  ((looks = PEERS) * anagram = ESPER) + (funny = ANTIC) = ESPERANTIC

[sing-song, quietly to self] Nailed it.

Incubus is available in its entirety via uTube (above). Speaking of owning, Shatner owns in this movie. Everyone else dumly phones in their lines, but Shat came to work. Premium vintage '60s Shat. cf Nightmare at 20,000 Feet. cf Nick of Time.

...

Time has passed and egos have cooled and in that time we have quibbled with ourself about whether we can refer to an actor in the possessive for a film he or she did not direct, but which he or she made. As in, "that rug makes the room; it really ties the room together." Is it properly William Shatner's Incubus and not Leslie Stevens's? Can we say "Tom Hanks's Forrest Gump"? "Charlize Theron's Monster"?

Mm. Yeah. It's a questionable quibble. We were perhaps too quick to quill a qlue.

Anyway. Supercrush Alan Connor wasn't into it. This week it's BAZONKA if you wanna get involved :)

<sidenote> The Wikipedia article for native speakers of Esperanto says:

This usually occurs when the parents meet each other at an Esperanto gathering but do not know each other’s native language.

which, omg, you guys. omg. Here, in the dry dispassionate style characteristic to the lead paragraphs of Wikipedia emergeth a recipe for love:

1. Gather Esperanto enthusiasts in a room.
2. Wait a while.
3. Babies who are native speakers of Esperanto.

Yeah you could kinda say the same of any group of humans sure fine, but it gives us a special thrill to think that most (all?) native speakers of Esperanto are an equivalence class of children produced by love matches that were made across language barriers, and sparked at a nerd conference. </sidenote>

Don't hide your love. Don't make us go to the Esperanto gathering to find it. Leave a comment.

Sentences - February 2013

We're gonna pull a real Fourth Wave feminist move this month, Dear Readers, and present our February 2013 cryptic review with a trigger warning.
 

Is this feminist? Is it?

S'right. So it's come to this.

That said, loved (LOVED!!) the theme: sentences. Each answer was a single word that could be broken up into a sentence unto itself, clued with a clever re-definition of the sentence. So like,

• a) Say bad things about toilets = DIS COMMODES

When we cracked this puzzle with JET in the south (37D) Jumbo or squirt? (3)), we were certain that the medial crossing "J" indicated "JOHNS" for "toilets." We were wrong. We were dissed. Boom.

• b) This one is la trigger warning, so we'll save it for the end.

• c) Give Kelly a sensible funeral = INTER GENE RATIONAL

O so lovely! So audacious and exquisite! Assumed at first that it would be "R." Kelly ("The Pee-er" as he is known to our mom) ("And I loved 'I Believe I Can Fly'!"). Cryptics don't go for R. Kelly, with that handy dangling R. Ah well.
 

• d) Bump into a pop singer = HIT CHER

Doesn't Cher transcend "pop" singing, though? Taylor Swift is a pop singer; Cher is an Academy Award-winning force of nature. Also, check out this footage of a young Cher, breathless, telling us that with the help of movie magic the evening's presentation will be West Side Story, and (yes side story) she will be playing all the parts. This video is awesome. This video makes us feel like part of humanity.

Cher in West Side Story from Anne Adler on Vimeo.
Shout out to web series The Outs for putting us wise to this footage!

• e) Proscribe what's protecting the heads of Scotland = BAN TAMS

Scot facts! Scots love scotch, Scots love tams. #scotfacts This lady also loves her tam. MAYBE SHE'S SCOTTISH

• f) Play this score in only one key = READ JUST IN G

There's our medial J! Weirdly assumed it would be "JUST IN E." Cuz of all those words with a "-justine" suffix ... [cough] ... But just in G! G chord songs! #bestsongs

• g) Put wealthy consumers in an office = ELECT RICH EATERS

Loved this one, especially because it's got this "eat the rich" implication to it, this aggressive anti-Boss Tammany feel to it. Gettin' all Thomas Nasty on the powers that be. Fuck yeah.

Lowlights!

• 6A) Bridge players last month, in two hands, are south (9)
  (last month = DEC) + (two hands = L + R) + ARE + (south = S) = DECLARERS

UGH gross everywhere. "last month" makes this clue a far cry from the standalone perfection we crave. Also, it's the February issue of Harper's. So "last month" is kinda JAN, i'n't it.  edit! Per Dear Reader Braze, obvi "last month" can mean "last month of the year" aka DEC. Yes of course yes obviously. We swear to you, we are a brilliant woman.

"two hands" is "L" and "R" for "left" and "right"? Eugh! And we're sick of bridge in the puzzles. No more bridge in the puzzles. We don't like bridge. End of story.

• 17A) In Assembly, bloats produce division in Russia (6)
  BLOATS * anagram = OBLAST

It's some kinda Soviet political division never hearda it boooo oooo. Boo.

• 19A) Edited out Liberal leader? Indeed! (5)
  (Liberal leader = L) * (in "deed") = DELED

Gross indeed. "DELED" is a word? "Indeed" can be split and quartered willy nilly? We understand if you love this one exactly because it splits the "Indeed." Have it. More for you.

• 28A) Hustles to make movie with reversal in the middle before big hits fail (9)
  
((movie = FILM) * reversal in the middle = FLIM) + (fail = F) * before + (big hits = LAMS)   = FLIMFLAMS

A "lam" is a hit? Like "five or six dudes jump out of nowhere and just start whaling on this one guy; they were really giving him lams"? Yeah?

• 1D) So terribly tired, exhausted initially, in bed with drunk (8)
  
SO + ((terribly tired, exhausted) * initially = T T E) + BED = BESOTTED

Usually think of "BESOTTED" as in love, like with pupils in little heart shapes. In sotted-related news, we the TackyHarpersCrypticClues.blogspot.com staff are, as of this writing, 127 days sober. No sots up in here! What's it been like, you ask? It's been good.

Surprisingly to us, temptation doesn't come at, say, parties, or New Year's Eve. Temptation comes in the daytime doldrums. And the devil on our shoulder isn't saying the expected lies, like, "it'd only be one widdle glass of wine ... " No, the devil has switched to the novel and more compelling tactic of telling truths, such as, "people get drunk all the time. All the time. Lots of people." You're right, devil!

Don't worry about us, though. We're holding rock steady :)

• 2D) Something that can be heard in three-part harmony! (6)
  
(three part harmony = A CHORD) * (heard = homophone) =  ACCORD

Didn't we, like, just have an ACCORD answer? Like recently? We need to get an intern to keep a repository of answers. Cuz either there are some egregious repeats, or we're getting old. Welcome to 30, Dear Readers. "Getting older" jokes too real, bro. Too real.

• 11D) One liberal member, not quite total criminal (7)
  
(One = I) + (liberal = L) + (member = LEG) + (not quite total = AL) = ILLEGAL

"member" = "leg"? Ok fine. We were thinking of a different member. Anyway.

By the way, Maltby, a reminder that any time you're looking for clues that poke ("poke") fun at male anatomy, we are here for you.

• 13D) One seabird biting the head off another! (3)
  
(One seabird = TERN) + (biting the head off = (-T)) = ERN

Ew! Ew gross! Gross enough when a puzzle has T/ERN, but compounded here with both present gross gross. No more T/ERNS, no BRIDGE, no HODADDIES. No AGLETS. No TORI or ANI or DRE or ICE T, unless the editor is prepared to post a YouTube video humming us a few bars.

Highlights!

• 34A) Disease sorely needs curing with injection of a bit of penicillin (7)
  
(SORELY + (bit of penicillin = P)) * anagram = LEPROSY

"Leprosy / I'm not half the man I used to be" ok we're done :)

• 39A) Tribe about to take clothes off outside made loud noises (9)
  
(Tribe = CREE) + (about = C) + ((take clothes off = SHED) * outside) = SCREECHED

This was nice. We forgive the "about" = "C" as in "circa." We forgive! Clothes off! Sexy. Also, cf the movie "Screeched." Dustin D is still at it. You ride that teen fame pony, D! Ride it 'til it dies and you're DELED from the cultural record.

For real, yo: Screeched on IMDB.

• 4D) Category including a Lance Armstrong's leaders (4)
  
Category including a lance = ARMSTRONGS * leaders =ARMS

Mmm! "lance" qua weapon we love it!

• 6D) Washington's packaging is showing some spine (4)
  
(Washington's = DC) packaging IS = DISC

Yah. Love it.

• 7D) French sure to appear in the French TV comedy show (5)
  
(French sure = OUI) + (the French = LE) = LOUIE

We're gonna ignore the double French (used in the same way! The same way! Agh! So sloppy!) because of the SHOUT OUT TO OUR BOY Louis CK! Mwa, we love him! What's your favorite episode? Ours is the Joan Rivers episode:

"I know, it gets better."
"It doesn't get better—you get better."

And favorite favorite all time line: "His name is Sam, and he is a person." Boom kaboom, JR!

Also favorite: David Lynch as the old school producer helping Louie prepare for late night auditions. At first the joke is that DL is such a fuddy duddy (monologue shtick about Reagan, etc). But then it becomes clear that Louie is resisting very important lessons. He's stuck. He needs to humble himself to the advice of others.

Louie's all, "I gotta be true to myself! I gotta wear a shlubby black t-shirt on camera!" but that's just a mask. A mask for the fear.

Always, explore that which you resist, which is really that which you're afraid of. Living in the light? We invite you to look into the darkness. Born into the darkness? Maybe you gotta look into the light.

• 10D) Displayed in the old style, cut in two directions (5)
  
(cut = HEW) + (two directions = S[outh] + N[orth]) = SHEWN

SHEWN! We love! You've shewn us the way! It's possible that we mostly like repeating "SHEWN" over and over, out loud, like a crazy person.

• 16D) Upchucking cereal—that's the way (3)
  (cereal = OAT) * anagram = TAO

Yes. The Tao is everywhere (like the Force). But also, specifically, references to the Tao keep coming up for us. A few months ago we were synchronistically encountering the Tao so often, we picked up our copy of Herr Jung's Synchronicity for some 20th century insight. We opened to a random chapter. The contents of the chapter were: synchronicity and the Tao.

We put down the book. We moved on with our lives. These are lessons we learned from Eyes Wide Shut. We don't care that you hated Eyes Wide Shut. That's just more Eyes Wide Shut for us.

• 20D) Fancy man, one prone to be more like some teens (8)
  
(Fancy man = PIMP) + (one prone = LIER) = PIMPLIER

A pimp is a fancy man, eh? Prince is way more of a fancy man. PRINCELIER!

• 28D) Whimsical comedienne (3)
  
FEY!

Mm, after that Louis CK clue, a lovely shout out to another comedy genius! Tried to force CHO as the answer for a while, tho.

• 35D) A writer like Church (4)
  
(like = AS) + (Church = CH) = ASCH

Sholem Asch whodat? Never hearda. But enjoyed this clue for its neatness and purity. Reminds us of Ash from Evil Dead. Bruce Campbell is totally the thinking woman's Jim Carrey.

Yes! Bruce Campbell is this month's gratuitous Nerd Hot Guy! Last month was Sam Rockwell. Sam Rockwell Sam Rockwell. Yes, we watched Moon. Yes it was awesome. Yes you were right.

And, lastmost, this month's Tacky:

• b) Send a message to sexual predators = RADIO THE RAPISTS

We're being stereotypically trigger happy with the trigger warning, and have applied it to any mention of rape or rapists.

Ok, but so looking at this clue, why radio the rapists? Why are they all together? What kind of message are they getting over the radio? It's weird, right?

And why does this clue rankle us, when we love the same joke in Arrested Development? Why does David Cross make it all better? Whence David Cross's powers, and how far will he take them?

This clue isn't really tacky. The pimp clue is maybe tackier, and it's not tacky. It's not as though this clue expresses, like, positive feelings about rapists.

Is it the case that any mention of rape amplifies rape culture? That's kinda what we're implying here on this blog. Yah, dunno.

Wait but no srsly, can we have a puzzle without racial slurs, uncomfortable sex puns, reference to nonconsensual sex, etc? There's a whole magical taboo world out there that's far less alienating than the same old taboos hammered away at month after month in this puzzle. Poverty. Mental illness. Obesity. Impending environmental collapse, economic stratification, and the average Harper's reader's passive  complicity in perpetuating both. These are all kinda downer topics, yah, but so are rape and racism! So!

There are also pees and poos: totally taboo, totally juvenile, totally universal. Totally fit the bill! We invite Maltby to go there. G'head, Maltby. We're here waiting for you, dancing back and forth from one foot to the other. Doing the dance.

last
For those keeping up with the weird sweet smell in our apartment, we did a good thorough swab of the radiators with soap and bleach, and two rounds of "maximum strength" Drano in the kitchen sink washed down with a full bucket of hot soapy water.

Currently, the weird smell is kept at bay. This may be strictly correlative. More science may be needed.

We really love our current apartment. We love the location, we love the rent, we love the trike painted on the wall. We love it all. We tried getting the super up to smell it, but like Warner Brothers' Michigan J Frog, the smell was in absentia when he finally got here. And, like the bald guy in the cartoon, we can choose to accept the smell as our private nemesis and the battle as ours and ours alone, or we can choose madness.

We choose to stay and fight.

Having a good time? Leave a comment beloooooow.