Theme and Variations - September 2016

First person time, just for the opening. What is up, Dear Readers! i've been, let's say, “busy.” i can tell you more next month. It's good, everything's good. i never forgot you. i love you. i'll be filling in the back catalogue of missing puzzle write ups soon (read: eventually).

The Theme!

Theme 'n' Varyations. Seena thissa one before. Major gripes for this puzzle. Let's start with a Big Gripe about how the theme played out:

• 1A) HUEY
• 4A) DEWEY
• 7A) LOUIE

Sweet, cool, no probs, right? The Quack Pack. Nephew time.


A cool thing we'd never noticed before is that the names rhyme with different spellings after the first letter. We're more familiar with the opposite trait as a standalone puzzle: three words differ only in first letters but do not rhyme. Like STATURE, MATURE, and NATURE. Or COVEN, WOVEN, and PROVEN.

Ok let's looky how that first one varies, though:

• 1D) HELICOPTERS

Ok so pluralizing is weird because HUEY is singular. And that early weirdness is the fart that heralds the diarrhea ahead:

• 26D) IROQUOIS
• 39D) COBRA

No. Absolutely not. This is against the rules and spirit of THEME AND VARIATIONS. What was promised was three parent words that each vary into three children. Or as Brother JBLSmith notes below, a sibling that varies into three siblings who are all friends and hang out together as adults, very sweet, makes off‑screen parents so proud.

But HUEY varies into a parent word and two siblings. Unacceptable.

Sweet V initially defended this theme! To our horror! Dear Readers are welcome to invoke further horror in the Comments by similarly defending this perverse insanity. Longtime Readers are certainly familiar with one of our beloved pastimes, which is to get Super Worked Up about the Harper's puzzle only to be corrected later, taken gently by the hand and Made to See Reason. This is a Safe Space for corrections.

Th'others varied in pleasing and expected ways. For DEWEY:

• 21A) COMMODORE
• 28A) GOVERNOR
• 7D) LIBRARIAN

Verr nice! COMMODORE maybe a little forced cuz who even is that guy?

George Dewey (December 26, 1837 – January 16, 1917) was Admiral of the Navy, the only person in U.S. history to have attained the rank. Admiral Dewey is best known for his victory at the Battle of Manila Bay during the Spanish–American War.

Source: Wyky

As a side note, thinking about Dewey and Truman now, we only recently put it together that FDR died in April 1945, and HST dropped the bombs in August. Like: that guy was only in the driver's seat for four months before he hit the button, twice.

And then rounding it out, Louie Lou‑ay as a type of currency:

• 25A) SOVEREIGN
• 42A) SOLIDUS
• 51A) DINAR

Sweet V's help was needed to make the initial connect from LOUIE to DINAR, and then parsing SOLIDUS at the end was a task. That was the final solve of the puzzle. But we got it. Currency is a fresh form for LOUIE.

Highlights!

• 11A) Engineering need: an assembly that's a square … (6)
  engineering NEED AN = ENNEAD

Eternal love for the ennead and the Enneagram! Seven years ago we were solidly an Enneagram 3 (The Performer) but these days when we re‑test sometimes we're an Enneagram 2 (The Helper). The Enneagram and its cousin, the Meyers‑Briggs Personality Test, really fill the void after quitting astrology.


Of course, as is well documented here on Tacky Harper's Cryptic Clues, “ennead” means “a group of nine” — often, specifically, the nine Furies of classical Greek mythology, But you knew that! Who are we to tell you that! [hearty chortles!]

Would have been happy if it ended with “square” instead of “a square” but piffle puffle, this write up is already taking too long!! Onward!

• 12A) … if square nuts can be used to make very low tables! (8)
  IF SQUARE nuts = AQUIFERS

Alllllways love an anagram. V nice.

• 13A) Brazil, twice downgraded initially, rebounds with fine leather (6)
  (BRAZIL twice downgraded initially = DRAZIL) rebounds = LIZARD

This was clever. CLEVER GURL

• 15A) Small cute animal found in morning in pound (4)
  (morning = AM) in (pound = LB) = LAMB

Automatic highlight for bringing ☆cute!☆ into the puzzle!


One time in college, our freshman year neighbor was dating a very rich son of a very rich real estate developer. The rich son was in a frat, and as a frat prank he brought a lamb to my neighbor's dorm room. Surreal. We felt an unexpected moral violation: “this is not right.” Hard to put our finger on exactly why. No one was hurting the lamb, per se. Yet we felt a powerful sense of dread. Dunno why the richness of father and son is an important part of the story to us, tho it's definitely important. Dunno if he ever got in trouble. We are really taking much-too much-too long on this write up! We missed you, Dear Readers! Time to start sprinting, now. No more boring slipstream anecdotes!!

• 18A) Gets by word of mouth what's spiraled out of control? (8)
  SPIRALED out of control = LIPREADS

Ooh dat “word of mouth” has us thinking homophone but nyope! It was an anagram (honeygram).

• 27A) Hurricane debris showing more dirt (9)
  HURRICANE debris = RAUNCHIER

Glorious anagrama. True love forever!

• 30A) Onetime city Conservative, at heart reactionary (4)
  (Conservative = TORY) at heart reactionary = TROY

Excellent! Nice narrative, makes even old dusty indicators like “at heart” feel fresh and alive again!

• 34A) Stuffed bear in basket, for returning (4)
  (basket = HOOP) for returning = POOH

Automatic highlight for Pooh bear. Love that Pooh bear!

Image courtesy DeviantArt user Tohad

• 36A) One and only bit of fun I questioned (6)
  bit of fUN I QUEstioned = UNIQUE

A daring wordspanner! Nice to have that congruence with ONE at the top of the clue and UNIQUE as the solve. As a side note, want to see us freak out? Say “very unique” in our presence. Oooh!!! shudders

• 39A) Limit badly sung pieces for children (3,4)
  (Limit = CAP) badly SUNG = CAP GUNS

Sincerely thought this was SIP CUPS for most of the puzzle. This past spring our friend Glorious D went to her son's elementary school talent show. She said that no fewer than EIGHT groups of little girls sang the entirety of Let It Go. We were recently initiated into the cult of Frozen by our four-year-old niece, which is the ideal way to experience Frozen. What can “let it go” mean to such tiny humans? Why does it resonate so deeply?

• 44A) Turn a siren up (6)
  Turn A SIREN = ARISEN

Yassssss TURN UP!! Much love.

• 45A) Queen visits London battle location for speech training (7)
  (Queen = ER) visits (London battle = BLITZ) = BERLITZ

This has a nice narrative flow, very Keep Calm, very The King's Speech, very nice.

Speaking of ‘litz, if you seek language lessons, we personally had excellent success with Pimsleur's Romanian program. If you just want to jump in and start making small talk, don't care about the grammar, don't care about the syntax, alla dat can come later, then you might have as much fun and success with them as we did :)

• 50A) Baby covers nose—awful smell starts outside, that is (7)
  (NOSE awful = ONES) (SMELL starts = S) outside (THAT IS = IE) = ONESIES

A little tortured but we like it because it's a pooping baby joke, and pooping babies are hilarious.

• 3D) Sneezy, Dopey drinks—many without any catalysts (7)
  SNEEZY dopey (MANY without ANY = M) = ENZYMES

Excellent! Thought this maybe used DWARVES, or an ‑EAD word that means “group of seven.” But that was an overreaction on our part.

• 4D) Sinister lineage‑based women's group, front for the KKK (4)
  (lineage based women's group = DAR) (front for the KKK = K) = DARK

A DARK clue indeed! Some chocolate that Sweet V bought us in Vienna last month:

• 5D) Allow no migratory French‑speaking person in parts of Europe (7)
  ALLOW NO migratory = WALLOON

This clue reads a little timely, geopolitically. ‘Sup, Walloon. Comment ça va? It's the Walloons and then the Flemish that are the two Belgium trivia chestnuts. Thems, and also Antwerp. Speaking of Antwerps, shout out to our brothers and sisters who played Quest for Glory IV!

• 6D) In Madrid it's very upsetting, but delicious (3)
  upsetting but (delicious = YUM) = MUY

EXCELLENTE! Imagining now the Spanish cuisine that disquiets the mind as it delights the palate. Like those French baby nightingales swallowed whole.

• 9D) One of Donald Trump's words, not loud but angry (4)
  (One of Donald Trump's words = FIRED) not (loud = F) = IRED

Very very smooth, this clue. Even though it requires cultural fluency in DT.

We think that guy is going to win the election. There was a window where she was going to win, but in our view that window has closed. We've passed through the stages of grief, especially including denial, and now we're in acceptance.

shirt designed by Tyler the Creator

But we remain open to a November surprise. This is a weird time to be alive. As Sweet V says, “we live in interesting times. I kinda wish we lived in more boring times.”

Last June, Daniel‑san's partner scoffed at us. “In what universe does the electoral map show him winning?” Mmmmmmmmmow about the electoral map from 2000. How bout the electoral map from 2004. She was unconvinced. But then, she was also a preteen at the start of the W Bush years. It's weird to feel nostalgic for the W Bush years. Weird times.

Ok next clue!

• 14D) Unsuccessful line of clothes? (4)
  Unsuccessful = line of clothes = DUDS
  Unsuccessful line = clothes = DUDS

The disagreement between UNSUCCESSFUL and DUDS forgiven for the simplicity. This was also Sweet V's clutch solve of the puzzle. He took one look, said, “it's DUDS!” then gave us a smooch and said, “my work here is done!”

Per Wise Tyler below, split this into “unsuccessful line” and “clothes”? And the “of” just “disappears”? That's “ok” we “guess.”

• 17D) Aimlessly wandering around a royal flower show (11)
  AIMLESSLY wandering around A (royal = R) = AMARYLLISES

Hat tip to Brother JBLSmith. Mmmmmmmmmm yes a beautiful delicious anagrama of this kind, yes so wonderful, yes our favorite!!

• 23D) Silver bullet mentioned in On the Beach (7)
  (silver = AG) (bullet = ROUND) = AGROUND

Elegant, smooth, tight. Lovely!

• 31D) Olive branches to accept, but leaderless, survive (7)
  OLIVE branches to accept (BUT leaderless = UT) = OUTLIVE

Excellent!

• 33D) Understands, not with help, where a labyrinth was ;(7)
  ((Understands = KNOWS) not (WITH = W) = KNOS) with (HELP = SOS) = KNOSSOS

Shout out to the Minoans, shout out to Crete! Shout out to seventh grade ancient history and mythology!

• 37D) Element created containing oxygen (5)
  (CREATED = BORN) containing (OXYGEN = O) = BORON

Some of you might find periodic table of the elements clues boron', but not us!! More pls!!

• 40D) Head off pursuer of musical theater (not the lead) (5)
  (pursuer of musical theater = JAVERT) not the lead= AVERT

Automatic Highlight for requiring cultural fluency in Le Mis. A little tricky cuz “head off” could also be an indicator.

Lowlights!

• 16A) Feels left out, getting compensation (4)
  FEELS (left = L) out = FEES

Meh. Fee's simple.

• 22A) Spectacular dress with a train and a yoked front (5)
  A (train = RR) and A (YOKED front = Y) = ARRAY

This sounds like a very terrible wedding outfit, some chattel marriage stuff. And TRAIN > RR is muy painful. And SPECTACULAR DRESS > ARRAY is also painful. Pain for everyone.

• 24A) Adore Nymph Errant? Quite the reverse! (5)
  ADORE errant = OREAD

This is that same durn confusorg thing of Quite the reverse! that no one understands and no one likes. And it's also OREAD in the same puzzle as ENNEAD which is gross.

• 32A) President's core value increased a hundredfold in camera (5)
  (President = NIXON) core value increased a hundredfold in = NIKON

So NIXON's core value increased a hundredfold from X = 10 to K = 1000. Barbaric to jump around from Roman numerals to the metric system.

• 43A) Wall decoration with little volume, nothing on either side (5)
  (little VOLUME = VOL) (nothing = O) on either side = OVOLO

Very truly sincerely thought this must be a reference to the uterine wall.

Ovolo (or ovulo) in architecture, is a convex molding known also as the echinus, which in classical architecture was invariably carved with the egg-and-dart ornament. The molding is called a quarter-round by woodworkers. This is not to be conflated with the "echinus" of the Doric capital, as this was of a more varied form and of much larger dimensions than the ovolo, which was only a subordinate molding.

Souce: Weeklypedia

We love the tone of the above paragraph. “not to be conflated.” Don't worry, buds. We won't conflate them. Rest easy.

• 49A) A second occupation takes Chartreuse off the map (5)
  CHARTREUSE off the (map = CHART) = REUSE

Reuse ... like Richard E Maltby Jr and The Listener did with so many of these fill words ohhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Not to mention CHARTREUSE > REUSE is very butt.

• 8D) Propose—to gangland killer? (5)
  gangland killer = OFFER (syn.)

Buh. Enough with OFF, enough with ICE. Enough.

• 10D) Ladies' ending? (3)
  ladieS ending = ESS

Huuuuuu‑whot even is this. Sincerely thought the answer was ASS. We do not understand this clue. Maybe if “Ladies' ending” were an idiom? Then we could forgive purely spelling out the last letter. Like,

• Knots Landing (3)

But maybe we're wrong about the reasoning in this very thin, very gruelish pun? Dear Readers are invited to explain in the Comments. Per Brother JBLSmith, this is likely a reference to the gendered ‑ess suffix. You know, like, stewardess or marquess or comediess, that type'a thing, those super cool words that imply female involvement is non‑normative.

• 19D) Leader of queue—with 10D, an afterthought (3)
  Leader of QUEUE = PEE

And with 10D) ESS to yield PEE ESS as in PS. Not sure how we'd phonetically spell out “Q” but QUEUE seems overwrought. And the definition for this three‑letter nothingness requires … solving another boring three‑letter flimsy fluffer clue. Buh.

• 20D) Music producer in this state raised the scale, right? (11)
  ((in this state = NYS) raised = SYN) THE (scale = SIZED) = SYNTHESIZED

Ohhhhhhh so much to dislike here! New York normativity, for one. New York abbreved NYS for two???? WAHTTT??? What is that. That is a no‑go zone. Even if, as Wise Tyler points out, it is common for to disambiguate from NYC … ok that checks out!

• 28D) Private parts from giants—they're from the colonies (4)
  (PRIVATE = GI) parts from GIANTS = ANTS

We like invoking a giant's genitals haha awesome, but the net is ANTS which is an automatic Lowlight.

• 38D) Film actress endlessly hounded for debts (5)
  endlessly (hounded for debts = DUNNED) = DUNNE

Love dat Irene Dunne!
But we remember DUN from April 2015 and turns out 17 months is too soon for a refry. Thought we were DUN with that.

• 41D) Served tea noisily, having tiny openings (5)
  (Served tea = POURED) noisily = PORED

This was nice and the overuse of TEA would be forgiven except that TEA is overused in this very puzzle as well which is, in a word, gross:

• 47D) Ate unpalatable meal (3)
  ATE unpalatable = TEA

This clue is so sweet and twee! And Bri'ish! Would be fine, like we say, but for TEA in 41D.

Grandma Ian McKellen

• 44D) Gone by a corner, in a board game (3)
  A (board game = GO) = AGO

What's “a corner” doin' there? Filler? Gross.

• 46D) In France, for him it sounds like a royal (3)
  sounds like (a royal = LOUIS) = LUI

This one is “ok” on its own, but in the context of we've a'ready got LOUIE as the unclued 7A this is very butt.

The Tacky

• 35A) Former Mideast leader beheaded—time for rejoicing (8)
  (Former = EX) ((Mideast leader = SULTAN) beheaded = ULTAN) (time = T) = EXULTANT

This is awful. This is like a shitty Charlie Hebdo cartoon in cryptic crossword form.

We've missed you. Come comment :)

Sentences - February 2013

We're gonna pull a real Fourth Wave feminist move this month, Dear Readers, and present our February 2013 cryptic review with a trigger warning.
 

Is this feminist? Is it?

S'right. So it's come to this.

That said, loved (LOVED!!) the theme: sentences. Each answer was a single word that could be broken up into a sentence unto itself, clued with a clever re-definition of the sentence. So like,

• a) Say bad things about toilets = DIS COMMODES

When we cracked this puzzle with JET in the south (37D) Jumbo or squirt? (3)), we were certain that the medial crossing "J" indicated "JOHNS" for "toilets." We were wrong. We were dissed. Boom.

• b) This one is la trigger warning, so we'll save it for the end.

• c) Give Kelly a sensible funeral = INTER GENE RATIONAL

O so lovely! So audacious and exquisite! Assumed at first that it would be "R." Kelly ("The Pee-er" as he is known to our mom) ("And I loved 'I Believe I Can Fly'!"). Cryptics don't go for R. Kelly, with that handy dangling R. Ah well.
 

• d) Bump into a pop singer = HIT CHER

Doesn't Cher transcend "pop" singing, though? Taylor Swift is a pop singer; Cher is an Academy Award-winning force of nature. Also, check out this footage of a young Cher, breathless, telling us that with the help of movie magic the evening's presentation will be West Side Story, and (yes side story) she will be playing all the parts. This video is awesome. This video makes us feel like part of humanity.

Cher in West Side Story from Anne Adler on Vimeo.
Shout out to web series The Outs for putting us wise to this footage!

• e) Proscribe what's protecting the heads of Scotland = BAN TAMS

Scot facts! Scots love scotch, Scots love tams. #scotfacts This lady also loves her tam. MAYBE SHE'S SCOTTISH

• f) Play this score in only one key = READ JUST IN G

There's our medial J! Weirdly assumed it would be "JUST IN E." Cuz of all those words with a "-justine" suffix ... [cough] ... But just in G! G chord songs! #bestsongs

• g) Put wealthy consumers in an office = ELECT RICH EATERS

Loved this one, especially because it's got this "eat the rich" implication to it, this aggressive anti-Boss Tammany feel to it. Gettin' all Thomas Nasty on the powers that be. Fuck yeah.

Lowlights!

• 6A) Bridge players last month, in two hands, are south (9)
  (last month = DEC) + (two hands = L + R) + ARE + (south = S) = DECLARERS

UGH gross everywhere. "last month" makes this clue a far cry from the standalone perfection we crave. Also, it's the February issue of Harper's. So "last month" is kinda JAN, i'n't it.  edit! Per Dear Reader Braze, obvi "last month" can mean "last month of the year" aka DEC. Yes of course yes obviously. We swear to you, we are a brilliant woman.

"two hands" is "L" and "R" for "left" and "right"? Eugh! And we're sick of bridge in the puzzles. No more bridge in the puzzles. We don't like bridge. End of story.

• 17A) In Assembly, bloats produce division in Russia (6)
  BLOATS * anagram = OBLAST

It's some kinda Soviet political division never hearda it boooo oooo. Boo.

• 19A) Edited out Liberal leader? Indeed! (5)
  (Liberal leader = L) * (in "deed") = DELED

Gross indeed. "DELED" is a word? "Indeed" can be split and quartered willy nilly? We understand if you love this one exactly because it splits the "Indeed." Have it. More for you.

• 28A) Hustles to make movie with reversal in the middle before big hits fail (9)
  
((movie = FILM) * reversal in the middle = FLIM) + (fail = F) * before + (big hits = LAMS)   = FLIMFLAMS

A "lam" is a hit? Like "five or six dudes jump out of nowhere and just start whaling on this one guy; they were really giving him lams"? Yeah?

• 1D) So terribly tired, exhausted initially, in bed with drunk (8)
  
SO + ((terribly tired, exhausted) * initially = T T E) + BED = BESOTTED

Usually think of "BESOTTED" as in love, like with pupils in little heart shapes. In sotted-related news, we the TackyHarpersCrypticClues.blogspot.com staff are, as of this writing, 127 days sober. No sots up in here! What's it been like, you ask? It's been good.

Surprisingly to us, temptation doesn't come at, say, parties, or New Year's Eve. Temptation comes in the daytime doldrums. And the devil on our shoulder isn't saying the expected lies, like, "it'd only be one widdle glass of wine ... " No, the devil has switched to the novel and more compelling tactic of telling truths, such as, "people get drunk all the time. All the time. Lots of people." You're right, devil!

Don't worry about us, though. We're holding rock steady :)

• 2D) Something that can be heard in three-part harmony! (6)
  
(three part harmony = A CHORD) * (heard = homophone) =  ACCORD

Didn't we, like, just have an ACCORD answer? Like recently? We need to get an intern to keep a repository of answers. Cuz either there are some egregious repeats, or we're getting old. Welcome to 30, Dear Readers. "Getting older" jokes too real, bro. Too real.

• 11D) One liberal member, not quite total criminal (7)
  
(One = I) + (liberal = L) + (member = LEG) + (not quite total = AL) = ILLEGAL

"member" = "leg"? Ok fine. We were thinking of a different member. Anyway.

By the way, Maltby, a reminder that any time you're looking for clues that poke ("poke") fun at male anatomy, we are here for you.

• 13D) One seabird biting the head off another! (3)
  
(One seabird = TERN) + (biting the head off = (-T)) = ERN

Ew! Ew gross! Gross enough when a puzzle has T/ERN, but compounded here with both present gross gross. No more T/ERNS, no BRIDGE, no HODADDIES. No AGLETS. No TORI or ANI or DRE or ICE T, unless the editor is prepared to post a YouTube video humming us a few bars.

Highlights!

• 34A) Disease sorely needs curing with injection of a bit of penicillin (7)
  
(SORELY + (bit of penicillin = P)) * anagram = LEPROSY

"Leprosy / I'm not half the man I used to be" ok we're done :)

• 39A) Tribe about to take clothes off outside made loud noises (9)
  
(Tribe = CREE) + (about = C) + ((take clothes off = SHED) * outside) = SCREECHED

This was nice. We forgive the "about" = "C" as in "circa." We forgive! Clothes off! Sexy. Also, cf the movie "Screeched." Dustin D is still at it. You ride that teen fame pony, D! Ride it 'til it dies and you're DELED from the cultural record.

For real, yo: Screeched on IMDB.

• 4D) Category including a Lance Armstrong's leaders (4)
  
Category including a lance = ARMSTRONGS * leaders =ARMS

Mmm! "lance" qua weapon we love it!

• 6D) Washington's packaging is showing some spine (4)
  
(Washington's = DC) packaging IS = DISC

Yah. Love it.

• 7D) French sure to appear in the French TV comedy show (5)
  
(French sure = OUI) + (the French = LE) = LOUIE

We're gonna ignore the double French (used in the same way! The same way! Agh! So sloppy!) because of the SHOUT OUT TO OUR BOY Louis CK! Mwa, we love him! What's your favorite episode? Ours is the Joan Rivers episode:

"I know, it gets better."
"It doesn't get better—you get better."

And favorite favorite all time line: "His name is Sam, and he is a person." Boom kaboom, JR!

Also favorite: David Lynch as the old school producer helping Louie prepare for late night auditions. At first the joke is that DL is such a fuddy duddy (monologue shtick about Reagan, etc). But then it becomes clear that Louie is resisting very important lessons. He's stuck. He needs to humble himself to the advice of others.

Louie's all, "I gotta be true to myself! I gotta wear a shlubby black t-shirt on camera!" but that's just a mask. A mask for the fear.

Always, explore that which you resist, which is really that which you're afraid of. Living in the light? We invite you to look into the darkness. Born into the darkness? Maybe you gotta look into the light.

• 10D) Displayed in the old style, cut in two directions (5)
  
(cut = HEW) + (two directions = S[outh] + N[orth]) = SHEWN

SHEWN! We love! You've shewn us the way! It's possible that we mostly like repeating "SHEWN" over and over, out loud, like a crazy person.

• 16D) Upchucking cereal—that's the way (3)
  (cereal = OAT) * anagram = TAO

Yes. The Tao is everywhere (like the Force). But also, specifically, references to the Tao keep coming up for us. A few months ago we were synchronistically encountering the Tao so often, we picked up our copy of Herr Jung's Synchronicity for some 20th century insight. We opened to a random chapter. The contents of the chapter were: synchronicity and the Tao.

We put down the book. We moved on with our lives. These are lessons we learned from Eyes Wide Shut. We don't care that you hated Eyes Wide Shut. That's just more Eyes Wide Shut for us.

• 20D) Fancy man, one prone to be more like some teens (8)
  
(Fancy man = PIMP) + (one prone = LIER) = PIMPLIER

A pimp is a fancy man, eh? Prince is way more of a fancy man. PRINCELIER!

• 28D) Whimsical comedienne (3)
  
FEY!

Mm, after that Louis CK clue, a lovely shout out to another comedy genius! Tried to force CHO as the answer for a while, tho.

• 35D) A writer like Church (4)
  
(like = AS) + (Church = CH) = ASCH

Sholem Asch whodat? Never hearda. But enjoyed this clue for its neatness and purity. Reminds us of Ash from Evil Dead. Bruce Campbell is totally the thinking woman's Jim Carrey.

Yes! Bruce Campbell is this month's gratuitous Nerd Hot Guy! Last month was Sam Rockwell. Sam Rockwell Sam Rockwell. Yes, we watched Moon. Yes it was awesome. Yes you were right.

And, lastmost, this month's Tacky:

• b) Send a message to sexual predators = RADIO THE RAPISTS

We're being stereotypically trigger happy with the trigger warning, and have applied it to any mention of rape or rapists.

Ok, but so looking at this clue, why radio the rapists? Why are they all together? What kind of message are they getting over the radio? It's weird, right?

And why does this clue rankle us, when we love the same joke in Arrested Development? Why does David Cross make it all better? Whence David Cross's powers, and how far will he take them?

This clue isn't really tacky. The pimp clue is maybe tackier, and it's not tacky. It's not as though this clue expresses, like, positive feelings about rapists.

Is it the case that any mention of rape amplifies rape culture? That's kinda what we're implying here on this blog. Yah, dunno.

Wait but no srsly, can we have a puzzle without racial slurs, uncomfortable sex puns, reference to nonconsensual sex, etc? There's a whole magical taboo world out there that's far less alienating than the same old taboos hammered away at month after month in this puzzle. Poverty. Mental illness. Obesity. Impending environmental collapse, economic stratification, and the average Harper's reader's passive  complicity in perpetuating both. These are all kinda downer topics, yah, but so are rape and racism! So!

There are also pees and poos: totally taboo, totally juvenile, totally universal. Totally fit the bill! We invite Maltby to go there. G'head, Maltby. We're here waiting for you, dancing back and forth from one foot to the other. Doing the dance.

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For those keeping up with the weird sweet smell in our apartment, we did a good thorough swab of the radiators with soap and bleach, and two rounds of "maximum strength" Drano in the kitchen sink washed down with a full bucket of hot soapy water.

Currently, the weird smell is kept at bay. This may be strictly correlative. More science may be needed.

We really love our current apartment. We love the location, we love the rent, we love the trike painted on the wall. We love it all. We tried getting the super up to smell it, but like Warner Brothers' Michigan J Frog, the smell was in absentia when he finally got here. And, like the bald guy in the cartoon, we can choose to accept the smell as our private nemesis and the battle as ours and ours alone, or we can choose madness.

We choose to stay and fight.

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