Alphabetical Inserts - October 2013

Welcome back, Dear Readers. Welcome to fall. New school year, new Jewish year. Decay and rebirth. Right now in real time an excavator claws away at the busted up old lot, catty corner from this coffeeshop. The excavator reminds us: change is possible. If you are like us, and your feeling of rightness and possibility in the world is contingent on such things as dubious, arcane, and esoteric as your command of the Harper's cryptic, and you just don't see how that's gonna change, take heed the lesson of the excavator. We wish you could see what this excavator is doing right now. It's playing with the wood and other shite in the lot like a housecat plays with a mouse. Change.

To the puzzle!

What have we here, why it's Alphabetical Inserts. A favorite variety! And, because we love you, and because what is this blog for if not to give loving, exhaustive commentary on the sometimes-tacky Harper's cryptic, herewith is the entire list of inserts IN ALPHA ORDER do you feel the love? Do you feel it??! You do.

Highlit letters are inserts.

(A) 12A) Public relations law—editor saw it coming (10)
(Public relations = PR) + (law = EDICT) + (editor = ED) = PREDICATED

(B) 54A) Draw out of state meal (10)
STATE MEAL * anagram = STABLEMATE
Stablemate reminds us of “helpmeet” as a definition for “wife.” Helpmeet!

(C) 10D) Dumb-ass and idiot plus! (9)
AND IDIOT * anagram = ADDICTION
Reminds us of this incredible scene, starring Kurtwood Smith. Check out his IMDB page. He works all the time!

(D) 47A) Ramble on like a Republican strategist (5)
Ramble = DROVE (double syn.)
Nice. Rove as in Karl. And, of course, this clue is fodder for our sister blog, BleedingHeartLiberalHarpersCrypticClues.blogspot.com.

(E) 11A) Mother finds bananas upsetting (4)
bananas = MAD * anagram = EDAM
Amended per Dear Reader Jordan: (bananas = MAD) * reverse = DAM
DAM like as in sheep mama.

(F) Roe, perhaps, comes with honey, as they say (5)
Roe = honey * homonym = DEFER

(G) 43A) Something in a vein or the right end of ventricle (4)
OR + (right end of ventricle = E) = OGRE
Cute spoofing us there with the cardioid references.

(H) 34A) Almost cried when shown back bench (4)
(cried = WEPT) * almost * reverse = PHEW

(I) 41D) What has United States of America? Furniture! (5)
stateS OF America = SOFIA
(amended rationale also per J-dan)

(J) 53A) Suffered, cutting the head off fish (4)
(fish = SHAD) - head = HADJ
A theme like this one, always gonna be, “where the J? Where the Z? Where the big money Scrabbo tiles at?” Cuz those will be the gimmes or disappointments. This was one of the dissatisfying theme answers, with the J tucked away in the cul de sac. Why not tuck away ALL the unusual letters and have yourself an alphabetical insert party with whatever clues you want Maltby just do that. Also, shad is the bad puzzle fish. Bad, but not the worst. That's you, COHO.

(K) There's one r in chemistry degree, and other mistakes (6)
ONE + R + (chemistry degree = BS) = BONKERS
Boners.

(L) Lady in England yields to census (9)
CENSUS TO * anagram = COUNTLESS
We originally thought this involved some torturous reasoning of “yields => ESS” but and so woops. Nice neat anagrama. Bama.

(M) 1A) Sound are you? I state “bankruptcy” (10)
((sound = homophone) * are you = R U) + I + (state = NATION) = RUMINATION

(N) 16D) Be really bad—inhale (5)
SNUCK (double syn)

(O) 26D) ... staff of gold is elevated (4)
(of gold = d'or = DOR) * reverse = ROOD
Rude. Haha.

(P) 38A) The Return of Jack Fink (4)
(Jack = sailor = TAR) * reverse = RAPT
More sailor slang. Always with the sailor slang.

(Q) 13A) First person going last: a sticky thing for game inventor (6)
(a sticky thing = ATAR*) + I = QATARI
*Um. We're pretty sure you meant ATTAR, Maltby, because ATTAR is a sticky glue, and ATAR is the Zorastrian concept of holy fire, which is possibly metaphorically sticky (“Oy there mate! See you're burnin' up in 'oly fire! Quite a sticky wicket now i'n't it?”).

A + (sticky thing = TAR) + I = QATARI
Thanks to Dear Reader Eric for spotting my flawed logic above. Knee-jerk ATTAR reaction. Happens.

(R) 24D) For the record, if church is displaced by royal arrival, ... (9)
(church = CH) + ARRIVAL - (displaced royal = R) = ARCHRIVAL
Way to slip out the R, then slip it back in.

(S) 46D) Mate on the street turns up for the Queen's Ball (4)
(Mate on the street = BRO) * reverse = SORB
Haha like Kevin Sorbo (we wish).

What the crud is a “sorb”?

Definition of SORB: to take up and hold by either adsorption or absorption

(from Merriam W)

Oh.

(T) This is the tacky one, so, see below.

(U) 21A) Cardinal delivered a Bible passage for auditors ... (4)
read * homophone = RUED “auditors” like ... auditory? For real?

(V) Flip part of shoe, not with the center taken out (9)
(part of shoe = INSOLE) + (NOT - center = NT) = INSOLVENT
Ooh this was a nice one. Hooray!

(W) 52A) Odd characters not necessary to witness electees (4)
wItNeSs = WINS
OoooOOoOoooh this is a sweet one. The alphabetically inserted letter is congruent to the clue oh so very sweet. So satisfying, Maltby.

But on the other hand, also annoying as fack, because the W is stuck in the puzzle's cul de sac, with sooooo many possibilities for insert. GINS. FINS. MINS. PINS. TINS. What a drag to have to infer it only at the very end of the solve.

(X) 19A) Denied becoming sure (7)
DENIED * anagram = INDEXED

(Y) 46D) I'm not quite objective: Indians live there (4)
(objective = GOAL) * not quite = GOYA
Thanks again to Dear Reader Eric L for the alley-oop on this one. We owe you, brother.

(Z) Church events—we got a bill for them here, so they say (6)
(we got a bill for them = RIGHTS) * homophone = RITZES
There's that Z! This clue is proper upon insert. Ritz^™ Hotels. Ritz^© crackers. So is Goya. So is Edam. So is Sofia the city, Sofia the woman, and Sofia the Hagia. So is Qatari. What the crud, Maltby? The puzzle instructions say

Clue answers include eight proper nous, two of which remain proper nouns when the extra letter is inserted. One clue answer becomes a proper noun with the insert.

Getting sloppy with these instructs.

( ... research ... )

Ok so “RITZES” is an acceptable Scrabbo word. This isn't saying much, because Scrabbo is loose and easy with what it'll accept as a word. Take ZA for instance. ZA. An acceptable Scrabbo word. Meaning PIZZA. What you feel right now is the feeling of Scrabbo like pants that drape around your legs like flags. Loose!

But that same looseness that the squares resent makes the game a better game. So if Scrabbo accepts RITZES as a non-proper, so shall we. But we're still counting four propers after insert. [we turn our head and growl to the East, where Maltby sips a double malt and thinks about golf. He coughs on the scotch as his mitichondria sense a disturbance in the Force]

And, of what remains (GEEZE is there anything left?)

Highlights!

• 15A) Mid-size elements included in fat monitor, e.g. (6)
  (Mid-size = IZ) + (fat = LARD) = LIZARD

Fantastic!

• 4D) Get up with one in the rear? (5)
  (rear = ARSE) + (one = I) = ARISE

Nice.

• For example, delay, deny or decry a big of poetry (4)
  IAMB

DELAY DENY and DECRY each being examples of the metrical foot IAMB. In our notes on this puzzle next to this clue we wrote, “you motherfucker!!!!” This clue is devilishly good. Wonderful.

Lowlights!

• 31A) One seabird, or a number of them, migrating west (4)
  (number of seabirds = AUKS) * reverse = SKUA

Gross.

• 36A) Bad element that helps make zircon a zircon (4)
  zircoN A ZIrcon = NAZI

Goooooooood grief! No other medial Zs you could work in there, Maltby? No MAZE or JAZZ or HAZY? We know this isn't what “Orwellian double-speak” means but “Bad element” as synonym for NAZI comes across as severe Orwellian double-speak. Or like smirking understatement.

• 45A) Yogurt drink, almost enough for a dog (5)
  (dog = LASSIE) * almost enough = LASSI

It's a stretch. Minimal payoff.

• 9D) Producer of musical works, considerably over-directed (5)
  oVERDIrected = VERDI

“considerably” is the indicator on a word-spanner? Mmmmm ...

• Big Bird once? Sounds like just what an orphan wants! (3)
  (what an orphan wants = MORE * Oliver Twist's cockney = big bird once = MOA

Ha ha what if the answer were “love” and “dignity” what if the answer were “social and financial support” what if the answer were that, guys.

The Tacky!

(T) 5D) What's brewing in stripteases? (4)
stripTEAses = TEAT

When the answer was just TEA this was a charming clue, but with the variety addition of T to TEAT, next to striptease, we're calling it tacky. This clue says to us all, “hey, look at that stripper's tits!”

“Well but so, BONER is in the puzzle. So,” and yeah. Sure. We'd maybe kindof buy that logic if it were a clue like

• Embarrassing thing to have in music class: inner trombone rash (5)

because in that case YES. We would be INTO it. That would be congruent with TEAT as used here.

Once again, we remind Richard E. Maltby Jr. and the puzzling community at large that were we called upon to write ribald Harper's clues that reference male anatomy as frequently as this puzzle references female anatomy, we would step forth with the greatest flourish, the most tireless and courageous spirit, the cleverest clues.

Say the word, Dick.

Hey there, lurker. Lookin' so fine. You're not gonna just walk away without a word, are you? Leave a comment, beautiful.

News Clippings - September 2013

Triumphant return, everyone! We hope you all had lovely summers. Welcome back to TackyHarpersCrypticClues.blogspot.com.

For la Septembre, the theme: symmetrical halves to the grid, except for the two 1As. The puzzle title was “News Clippings” and each clue was a double-threat that read like a headline, preceded by an appropriate(ish) newspaper section which—most incredible puzzle instruction in Harper's ever—was included “just for fun.”

Just for fun!

So had our thinking caps been properly strapped on we would have keyed in on the theme of Ye Old Media Papre of Yestreyeer and potentially nailed the 1As early, as opposed to dead last:

• 1A) Obituary: CREATOR OF PROBITION (“THE MAN WITH THE VITAMIN”) DIED—NAME INVOLVED IN PERJURY SPREAD IN PROMINENT LETTERS (6,8)
  creator of prohibition = BANNER
  (the man = HE) + (vitamin = A) + (died = D) + (perjury = LIE) + (name = N) = HEADLINE

Do you get it? “BANNER HEADLINE” in the puzz right where the banner headline is on a newspaper: By the way, that clueing for HEADLINE is just, like, excruciating.

This puzzle was hard. Since we were such a dodo about 1A and thus couldn't enter any fill until the triumphant end, we brought out the big guns to keep track of which answers jibed together.

Big guns, you ask? That's right. We brought out the Scrabble board and the markers. And, luckily, most of our first answers were in what turned out to be the left half of the puzzle, and we were able to make some wild conjectures that led to accurate inferences that put this one to bed in two days. Not one of the glorious single-sittings of summer 2012, tis true. But still flowing nice and steady, like a river, or a morphine drip.

Highlights!

• 10A) Science Page: ENGINEER GREETED CLEAN ENERGY SOURCE WITH EXHAUST PIPES DECENTRALIZED WHEN IT GETS DARK (7,7)
  GREETED * anagram = DETERGE
  (energy = E) + (exhaust pipes = VENTING) * decentralized = EVENING

An especially nice flow between halves (“clean energy”).

• 14A) Automobile News: BEING INSIDE FIRST-CLASS RETRO CONVERTIBLE (AND IN STATE!) MAKES ME BLURT: PEOPLE CAN LOSE THEIR HEADS AFTER RIDING IN THIS! (7,7)
  ((first-class = A1 = AI) * rev = I A) + (AND IN * anagram) = INDIANA
  ME BLURT * anagram = TUMBREL

From etymonline:

tumbrel (n.) mid-15c., “two-wheeled cart,” ... Notoriously used to take victims to the guillotine during the Reign of Terror.

Dark! “Death Cart: the cart that drives you to your death!”

• 17A) TV Review: DISCOVERED BACK IN POLYVINYL DWELLING WITH A BLUE COLOR, OLDER MAN IN DADA IS DEPICTED IN GREAT TV SERIES (6,6)
  polyvinYL DWELling * rev = LEWDLY
  (man in Dada = RAY) + (great = G) + (TV series = ER) = GRAYER

Mmm that wordspanner reversal in the first half! YES. Blast from the past on that TV reference but we forgive, we forgive.

Also just now, in real time, our lovely boyfriend Sweet V whilst reading over our shoulder asked, “Ray? How is that Dada?” V is from Romania, the same nationality as key inventors of Dada. He speculates that Dada was a Romanian joke about art, right to art's face. Having had close contact with a Romanian for nearly a year we speculate same.

But V'd never heard of Man Ray. Man Ray! His photos were no joke! Man Ray is an automatic Highlight! While we're on the topic of TV series—great TV series —check out Noah Wyle still hitting his marks on that first ER monologue. YES! Love!



Noah Wyle! You are this month's TackyHarpersCrypticClues.blogspot.com Nerd Hot Guy!

Young and clean cut (cheetah print!)

Older and tastefully grizzled

• 1D) Gossip Column: BREAKING WIDE: I PLACE DOTTY HANGING AROUND WILLIS' EX! SEEING EACH OTHER AGAIN? I'LL BE WRITING IN ANOTHER DAY (10,10)
  I PLACE (Willis' ex = DEMI) * anagram = EPIDEMICAL
  double synonym = BACKDATING

“Back dating” as in “those two? Are they back dating again?” Mmmmmmmmok we'll allow it!

Speaking of Willis's ex, here's Demi Moore and the Kootch deboarding, and oh-so-gently received by TMZ. TMZ, that most generous of media. And also if right now you're like, “uh your blog has a typo, it should be Willis',” dude, no. Possessive singulars ending in s take the apostrophe and s. Get out dat Strunk & White. Open 'er up. What does it say. You're welcome. We know. Yes, everyone does it “Bruce Willis'.” Yes, we know it looks funny the other way. Sometimes the truth is hard.

This clue also reminds us of Jackie Harvey's Gossip column in The Onion. “Item!”

• 6D) Business News: STRIKE SUPPORTS, LEVERAGED OUT, SWAMP INTERNAL WORKING (SHOWN IN HD), WRITES INTERIOR (10,10)
  ((strike = S) + LEVERAGED) * anagram = EVERGLADES
  (INTERNAL * anagram) + HD = HINTERLAND

Two glorious anagrams! Hinterland! Very nice. Always enjoy when an indicator is in fact anagrind material. Fresh take!

• 11D) Fashion News: A FAST-MOVING NUMBER, NIGHTGOWN'S STARTING TO GET FASHIONABLE—YET SHIFTS, OLD MAN, GO RIGHT OVER ALMOST NOTHING (6,6)
  (nightgown's starting = N) + (fashionable = IN) + YET = NINETY
  (go right = GEE) + (almost nothing = ZER) = GEEZER

“Ninety” like driving fast, in miles per hour, on an American highway mmmmmmmmmmmmmmok we'll allow it. “GEE” like in how you get your team of oxen to go left. We learned that from Reading Rainbow probably 25 or 30 years ago in the episode where LeVar Burton goes to an Amish farm.

GEE and HAW. Never know what's gonna resonate, what's gonna stick with you and be of use.

Lowlights!

• 7A) Empoyment Want Ad: A LOW-RENT EX-SERVICEMAN, UNOFFICIALLY I'M PURSUING PUBLIC RELATIONS IN PARTICULAR (4,4)
  A LOW * anagram = AWOL
  (public relations = PR) + I'M = PRIM

Just didn't like. Maybe it was the reference to public relations? Also, we were sooooo certain that the first half would play on VET and thus we built a neurological dead end and brought our sleeping bag and just camped out for a couple days.

When your intuition has you on the right track then sometimes that can work and you say, “mmmm! I'm like Columbo up in here, sniffing it out! Your book smarts will never defeat my qi!” but when it doesn't you're just like, “argh! Why did I let myself be guided by feeling?”

• 12A) Western Hemisphere: A LATIN PRESIDENT SIMILARLY GERMANIC, ENDS UP IN WILD (5,5)
  A + (Latin = L) + (president = IKE) = ALIKE
  GERMANIC ends = MANIC

O mang, took forever thinking up synonyms for “Germanic” and only getting “Teutonic” which is way more than five letters, and didn't break up into neat components as a synonym for “wild.” But then, like the girl next door, the answer we were looking for was right there in front of us. (whispered: right there, the whole time)

• 2D) Police Blotter: CROOKED PUNK WARY OF NOT FINISHING RAN OFF IN VAN WITH ITALIAN FLOWER (4,4)
  WARY * anagram = AWRY
  ((OF * not finishing = O) + RAN) * anagram = ARNO

Every time with that flow-er = river. Every time. Just one time, let's see flow-er mean “menstruater.” Fresh take!

Also, any Dear Readers out there know how to parse “van” here? There is such thing as Van Arno but we doubt that is the reference.

• 3D Sports Page: BALLOONS APPEARING WHEN OPENERS IN DETROIT, DENVER, SEATTLE RUN OVER—MAVERICK'S I, NETS 12—ODDLY MENTION BOXING RING (8,8)
  (D + D + S + I + NETS) * anagram = DISTENDS
  MENTION + (ring = O) * anagram = NOONTIME

More tortured clueing on that first half. Booo!

• 5D) Washington Beat: HOUSE COVERAGE OF OLD REPUBLICAN STANDING UP FIRST ON REVERSING CASES REGARDING MUSICIAN IN HISTORY FIRE! (4,4)
  OF + (old = O) + (Republican = R) = ROOF
  ON * reverse * cases + (regarding = RE) = NERO

Of course the famous musician is Nero. #ofcourse note! Wikipedia tells us that Nero probably wasn't fiddling during the Great Fire. So the next time someone brings it up like at a party or in a Huffington Post comment or something you can say, “ACTually ... !” Then everyone will say, “thank you for letting us know.”

• 13D) International News: RULER OVERTHROWN, SIREN ON CART SOUNDS FOR BRITISH SPY (5,5)
  RULER * anagram = LURER
  (ON + (cart = DRAY)) * homophone = ANDRE

From W'k'p'd'a:

John André was a British Army officer hanged as a spy by the Continental Army during the American War of Independence.

Never hearda. But, there you have him.

The Tacky!

Let's call out what we always call out, and what we always call out is male normativity.

• 16A) Advertising News: PRESS FOR DIRECTIONS—THEN YOU'LL SEE ME NAME STAR'S TREAT TASTIER (7,7)
  (directions = N E W S) + ME + (name = N) = NEWSMEN
  TASTIER * anagram = ARTISTE

Meh. All the Press is All Man? Tell that to Cokie Roberts. To Maura Liason. To Connie Chung. We could go on. To Mi-chele Norris. To Audie Cornish. To what's her face, the mean blonde one. Tip of the tongue. Anne something.

(Googles ... )

Ann Coulter! She was the first hit for “mean blonde republican,” by the way. Not a comment on her politics, just on how she conducts her public persona(e). And w/r/t tackiness qua sloppiness, is the noun “artiste” really symmetric to the possessive modifier “star's”? Mmmmmmmmmmno. It is not.

Also

Did you, Dear Readers, check the specs on some BULLSHEET in the puzzle footer this month?

Beginning with this month's puzzle, the sender of the first correct solution opened at random, rather than the senders of the first three, will receive a one-year subscription blah blah

O RLY. Is Ye Olde Meedia exactly raking it in these days and no, certainly not. Do we begrudge them cutting corners with respect to the puzzling fanbase why YES we most certainly DO.

Anyway. Here's our winning puzzle from April, hanging proudly in the kitchen:

If you feel something, say something. Leave a comment.

Sixes and Sevens - May 2013

Dear Readers, we're going to kinda phone it in this month. We are hard at work on our show, BLOGJOB. If you have not watched, you should watch. Currently, and this makes us very proud, our show is the top hit for a search of "blogjob." Take that blogjob.com! At least, that's true from this IP address. You know that Googly changes results based on IP address? It helps them maximize profits, prolly. So cool! What a cool company.

So this post will be barely edited (read: long and rambleh) while a couple scenes of footage from our show, BLOGJOB, render in Premiere for the next 45 mins. Don't tell us about how you hate editing in Premiere. Guess what? We've heard your rant. Guess what? It's what we're doin. It's just what's hannin. Believe.


Too much scaffolding in this post already! Alla this blah-blah would normally be cut! This time, it's not! But! Dear Readers! An important and majestic something has occurred! And that is that: the miracle has arrived! Yes, it's finally ha'en'd! Lo! A missive!

Foolishly we thought this might be fanmail from one Richard E. Maltby. But it was even better: the hand-scrawled letter confirming that we were a winner of the April 2013 cryptic contest.
FRABJOUS
DEY
CALLOO, DEAR READERS
CALLAY

And here we thought we were the only one out there still writing business mail by hand. That's how we request to be removed from junk mail lists when the junk mail arrives. The upshot is that we rarely receive mail of any kind, let alone good mail. If you're itching to send us mail, you can do it care of: BLOGJOB, Box 409012, Chicago, IL 60660.

To the puzzle!

Nothing really to say about it, puzzle-wise. Very regular. Familiar theme. Solid, steady. A white rice kind of puzzle.

Lowlights!

• 11A) Architectural feature due me? That's what it says! (4)
  (DUE * homophone = DO) + ME = DOME

Yeah ugh. No. If we're playing the homophone game we're playing the homophone game. No fun to switch it up to the orthography game. At least not for a thin nothing little word like "do." The answer should be "DOOMY." Doomy + gloomy.

• g) Topics for redesigning a study for a scientist (6)
  TOPICS * anagram = OPTICS

A single-translation anagram. Boo. Least favorite. Unrelated to the puzzle, and not Maltby's fault, but it drives us mad! that it's in vogue for political commentators to say "the optics" when they mean "the [public] image." Excruciating. Yet another crime committed by our field of undergraduate study, political science. ([Russian accent] "Is not real science!")

Matt D would agree.

• e) Check on trade requiring, therefore, holding a degree from Wharton (7)
  (therefore = ERGO) + (degree from Wharton = MBA) = EMBARGO

Too easy. Meh.

About 20 minutes left on rendering! Don't stop now, team!

• h) Pastoral letter from Benedict, upper-class pain in the gut (7)
  (letter from Benedict = B) + (upper-class = U) + (pain in the gut = COLIC)

Just ... so paint-by-numbers.

Highlights!

Both of the big twelves were very nice here:

• 16A) Darlings heard by orators in hats (12)
  ((Darlings = DEARS) * homophone = DEERS) + (orators = TALKERS) = DEERSTALKERS

Like the Sherlock Holmes hat. Kept thinking there was some more severe homophony on and about. Nay nay. Do you watch the new Sherlock Holmes? People love it. We've never seen it, but we know that there's a guy named Cumberbatch in it, and he's really hot. We've also never seen Dr. Who. Kate Beaton did a good job of summing up what we think Dr. Who is like. We gave it a watch the other night. There was a 10-minute sequence about how Dr. Who is a picky eater. Is his fussiness related to being a Time Lord®? We weren't too interested either way. We've given up on Dr. Who for now, just as we've given up on Battlestar Galactica. It started out so good! Season 2 was exquisite! But now we're in Season 4 and a) nothing is happening and b) everyone is just stressed out and yelling all the time, and not particularly intelligent or creative. No one's even having sex. They just yell and sweat a lot. We thought space was cold! Why's everyone sweating all the time?

• 24A) Peculiar quality sailor held in place—this shows restraint (12)
  (quality = TRAIT) + (sailor = JACK) + (held in place = SET) = STRAITJACKET

The other nice twelve. "sailor = jack" we'd never seen before. Got STRAITJACKET by inference, had to look up syns for "sailor."

• 31A) Animal from pound running after one (4)
  (pound = L) + (running = ON) + (one = I) = LION

"Running" as in like "is your fridge on? Well you better go catch it!"

• 4D) Look! The gentleman's upset an animal (5)
  (Look = LO) + (gentleman's = SIR) * (upset = anagram) = LORIS

LORIS! Holla atcher O'Reilly texts! Glorious :) Here is a video of slow loris getting a tickle. If this video does not give you feelings then you have no feelings. Click the video. Feel things.

• 10A) Headgear with the front cut off for the city (5)
  (Headgear = TURBAN) - first letter = URBAN

This was the first clue we got. Splendid! As a sidenote, we love seeing Muslims in hijab, turbans, kurta, etc. Be free, brothers and sisters. Honor your Creator how you see fit! It's not our job to thought police. That's Laura Roslyn's job. We have probably spent much-too-much time imagining ourselves as one of the good-hearted Cylon, and how we might be able to get through to President Laur. But there's just no way. Her prejudices, cheekbones run too high. Forget it.

• f) Spooky and kinda not like a container! (7)
  UNCANNY (double syn)

Ooooooh so normally we're not into these fake-o words but uncanny! Uncanny valley! Uncanny X-Men! Not like a can! YES!

The Tacky!

Two kinda tacky. One is is mildly lewd. The other sexist-y. Nothing truly untoward. Nothing about rape. That's saying something. Isn't it bad that that's saying something? It's bad! Here they are:

• f) Habit-forming item endlessly allowed to be put on wuss (6)
  (wuss = WIMP) + (allowed = LET) - last letter = WIMPLE

Ah yes, the noble wimple! One time Nikki came with us to a reading in San Francisco. We had recently learned the word "wimple." At the reading, a twice-published author read from her second book of softcore medieval lesbian erotica.

... It's possible that we've already told this story before in this blog? No time to check! Onward!

This softcore lesbian authoress read from her book and hooooooow hard is it to make sexy fair maidens sexy? Not hard, right? But this passage was boring and bad. It made us mad, and sad. As we recall, the only things that happened in the passage were a quickened pulse and a dropped bowl of hærbs.

As Nikki said afterward, "there was nothing medieval about that book. It was just San Francisco, with wimples."

"Nikki, we have to write and publish two books, just to bring the world back to zero!" we said. Ok, the bouncing icon in our Dock has informed us that we're done rendering that BLOGJOB footage. Gotta wrap this up.


Dunno about you, but growing up it was very clear to us that "wuss" was a bare euphemism for "pussy." Like "frack" for "fuck." Lewd. Thanks, Maltby.

Here's the other tacky.

• One might be fond in bed with a crazy person, rising around one after gym (7)
  (crazy person = AUNT) + (one = I) + (gym = PE) = PETUNIA

Aunts are synonymous with crazy? We now direct your attention to our several crazy uncles. And crazy aunts. We were blessed with both. We are very excited that next month our Romanian boyfriend will get to meet a sampler course of them at a family reunion. Then and only then might he truly understand us. This is our heritage. Our crazy uncle heritage.

This clue seems to come from the deep dark heart of "crazy spinster aunts" and Miss Havisham and her-only-fulfillment-was-through-her-siblings'-children. From the dark place of "failed woman."

EDIT! Per Dear Reader Tyler's obso, "a crazy person" = A NUT. Because there's an indicator for a reversal. Which we ignored. Because we felt like it. So, nevermind! Nevermind! This clue escapes our outrage.

Anything to share? Agree to disagree? Disagree to agree? Orwellian double-speak? Discourse through blog comments? Leave one below!

For Short - April 2013

Welcome back, Dear Readers! USA readers, hope you've put your taxes to bed and all's right with the world.

We've been hard at work on our web series BLOGJOB. Latest Director's Vlog below:
Episode 4 to come later this week. There was a delay, because we had a short-term dayjob. Our dayjob severely interfered with our BLOGJOB.

Watch, comment, share, twart. It only takes a second. It's so easy. Hit that Paypal button at right, show us you love us. Yussssss.

To the puzzle!

Wait first, some news: several Dear Readers were kind enough to alert the TackyHarpersCrypticClues.blogspot.com staff that Harper's has made the entirety of the puzzle archive available in an easily served up URL. Hot dang! Should you still require a reason to invest in a subscription, consider that requirement fulfilled:
harpers.org/departments/puzzle

At last, to the puzzle for real-real:

Theme answers, unclued and entered by inference, were all alternate names for the devil:

3A) BEELZEBUB
17A) THE EVIL ONE
38A) SATAN
41A) OLD SCRATCH
48A) THE TEMPTER
7D) BELIAL (had to look this one up)
9D) PRINCE OF DARKNESS
37D) LUCIFER

Circled letters yielded a jumble for NICKNAMES, as in names for Old Nick. When we gave Finnegan's Wake a try in 2008, we latched on to references of "Mick vs Nick," aka the archangel Michael versus Satan. It was a slippery handhold in a maelstrom of a book. We got maybe 40%? 50% through? Then lost heart and read Infinite Jest instead. Different maelstrom. Much more satisfying.

Kindof strange and thrilling to delve into the black occult this puzzle.

open question: is there a relationship between Old Saint Nick and the devil?

Highlights!

• 11A) Word for four years of George Bush (4)
  (double synonym) = TERM

Four letter word! George Bush! A little bit of baiting, here :) Our sister blog BleedingHeartLiberalHarpersCrypticClues.blogspot.com would not be amused.

George W. Bush jokes didn't go anywhere. They're right here.

• 12A) I was fired in just one war—Europe (9)
  juST ONE WAR Europe = STONEWARE

Daring. Glorious.

• 16A) A welcome fish (3)
  A + (welcome = HI) = AHI

YES. Nice and neat. Like Maltby takes his scotch [we assume].

• 18A) Swindlers left protected by Hells Angels, e.g. (7)
  (Hells Angels e.g. = BIKERS) + (left = L) = BILKERS

Makes us think of Sgt. Bilko. And Sons of Anarchy.

• 22A) Pick top off (3)
  TOP * (off = anagram) = OPT

Mm! Another short sweet one. Simple, but so tight! Love.

• 25A) Lionize artist in rehabilitation getting clean (13)
  LIONIZE ARTIST * (rehabilitation = anagram) = STERILIZATION

Another audacious exquisite anagram! Mwa! Just, lavish! Also, shout-out to our girl Lindsay L, headed to rehab again, putting a brave face on it on the Letterman show. Call it lip service if you like, but we know firsthand how hard it is for an addict to say, "I take responsibility for my actions." Solidarity, sister.

• 26A) In sight of Cyclops, it might help if improper come-on captures Helen's heart (7)
  (COME ON + (Helen's heart = L)) * (improper = anagram) = MONOCLE

Elegant and fully committed reference to the Odyssey.

• 36A) Loafer doesn't need this solace—he needs exercising (8)
  (SOLACE + HE) * (exercising = anagram) = SHOELACE

Loafer don't need this! YES

• 42A) Criminal litigants, e.g., circumvent copper, making waves (13)
  (Criminal = anagram) * (LITIGANTS + EG + (copper = CU)) = GESTICULATING

Spectacular. A little bit of a gimme to grab the anagrind, but you know how we feel about these massive anagrams. We loves them.

• 49A) Nuns are commanded! (7)
  ORDERED (double synonym)

Another nice sweet double syn. Mm.

Mildly related, the other month we were checking out Netflix for entertainment and Nude Nuns with Big Guns came up. "Ooh, that looks like a fun romp!" we thought. Campy exploitation like Machete we thought.

O good grief no, it was awful. It hurt us to watch. It hurt us in our hearts. Granted, we are an especially sensitive and feeling person. For instance, talking about a Yelp review the other morning for Hassan at Andersonville Tech moved us to tears of happiness.

But this film. Best avoided. Go watch The Man with the Iron Fists instead. Or Kill Bill.

• 1D) A squint at miss rubs the wrong way (10)
  AT MISS RUBS * (wrong way = anagram) = STRABISMUS

Had only vaguely heard of this affliction, but mm! Loved! Sweet like a strawberry. And nice narrative flow to the clue.

• 14D) Victory—it extends into where the wizard is a famous agent (5)
  (Victory = V) + IT + (where the wizard is = OZ) = OVITZ

Mmm! Delightful. We love clues about wizards. Wish it coulda beena secret agent, like Valerie Plame or similar, but we'll take Michael O.

• 19D) List in wind (4)
  ROLL (double synonym)

Wind like "wind up the film in the cassette tape." Roll like "roll call! Ten hut!" Fantastic. Tight, taut, perfect. Nous en adorons.

• 34D) For one who has come out, a bit of testosterone is a liability (4)
  (one who has come out = DEB) + (bit of testosterone = T) = DEBT

Didn't parse if this is a knowing wink directed to fellow travelers and some trans/genderqueer pride on display or just Fun with Homosexuality. Didn't matter. In either case, we love.

Can't quite shoehorn it into a lean narrative, but this clue hints at a general sensitivity to and awareness of Queer Orthodoxy which complements our own hypersensitivity to and awareness of Queer Orthodoxy. Once BLOGJOB is done, our next show is going to be EVERYBODY HATES BISEXUALS. Note that: BLOGJOB might not be done for a long long time. The title of the show that comes after will be EDITING TAKES FOR-FOCKING-EVER.

Lowlights!

• 13A) Organic compound, only spelled backwards (4)
  (only = LONE) * backwards = ENOL

Puzzle-ese! Boo. Enol you are evol. You make us feel anal.

See how much you don't care about ENOL?

• 15A) In botany, it covers cutting the second of this month (4)
  (this month = APRIL) - the second = ARIL

More puzzle-ese! Gross. Just as bad as ENOL. Just as bad!

• 28A) Sports fans' Mustangs? Right from start, initially, they're all blue (6)
  (Sports fans' Mustangs = SMU) + (Right from start) = SMURFS

Ew. Inferred this from the fill, then spent an absurd amount of time trying to figure out why. It seeeeeemed like there was a way to work it from the letters there in the clue but no, no no, no, you needed to know some specificity about sports. Southern Methodist University. Cool school, broh.

• 50A) Second manuscript that is returned—you can find fault in this! (5)
  (Second = S) + ((manuscript = MS) + (that is = I E) * reverse) = SEISM

Seism? Like "seismic"? Is a word? This clue? Is a clue? That counts as a clue? Gross. We find fault in this.

• 3D) Touching letters from supporter sick with envy (just a tad) (7)
  (supporter = BRA) + (sick = ILL) + (envy = E) = BRAILLE

We enjoyed "touching letters" as equivalent to Braille, but, grrr. Sick and tired of "supporter" for bra. When will "supporter" mean "codpiece"? CODPIECE!


And btw, Dougray Scott (above) is this month's Nerd Hot Guy. But since we brought in Val Kilmer as the Bat, honorable mention goes to the Kilm in Real Genius.

Can has eyeliner yussssssss!

• 5D) Chestiest models—it's a matter of taste (9)
  CHESTIEST * (models = anagram) = ESTHETICS

Sigh. Another clue about boobies. That said, we adore this sketch starring the superb Olivia Munn:

• 20D) A speaker's excessive—get it on for dancing (4)
  (excessive = TOO TOO) * homophone = TUTU

Meh. Too too simple.

• 31D) My singers working together as a group? (9)
  MY SINGERS * (working = anagram) = SYNERGISM

O awful! The '80s are over! "Synergy" is no longer a thing! "Synergism" even less so! Why not go whole hog with "synergology" or "synergistics"? Why stop the bad train when it's already railroaded through Sensible Actual Word Junction???


[ ... actually looks up "synergism" on etymonline ... ]

Oh. Ok, it's a word.

synergism (n.)
1650s, "theological doctrine that human will cooperates with divine grace in regeneration," from Modern Latin synergismus, from Greek synergos "working together" (see synergy). Used in a broader (non-theological) sense by 1925.

• 33D) River in South America and a river below it (4)
  (South America = SA) + A + (river = R) = SAAR

Hate when propers are tucked away in the fill's cul de sac like that. Saar? You hearda? Is beautiful, tho:

• 43D) Sow seen by yokels? (4)
  SEED (double synonym)

Didn't we just do the redneck "seen = seed" thing? Didn't we? No, jk, that was "ate = et". In January. Anyway. We're from Vermont. This isn't how rednecks talk, it's how other people think rednecks talk. Like how Foghorn Leghorn doesn't pronounce his Rs, because he's a Yankee's idea of how Southerners talk. Real Southernors say their Rs.

Disgracefully, native Georgian Julia Roberts gave in to such stereotypes in Steel Magnolias.

and the Tacky!

• 35A) Young person died inside trunk (4)
  (Young person = BOY) + (died = D) = BODY

Gruesome. And male gender normative.

So: child murder. And sexism.

Boo, Maltby. Boo.

We were not saying Boo-urns.

Did you have a good time? Tell us in the c-c-c-comments!