Honorable Mention - November 2014

Mmm, the quality of clues this month: extraordinary. Just exquisite! So many approaching that highest ideal: natural language, telling a human story, lacking in obvious (gimme) indicators. Smooth and cool, like a ball bearing, or the sphere in the movie Sphere.

The Theme

All I want is a room somewhere. Farraway from the cold night air. With one enormous chair. O wouldn't it be loverly. How much of the musical My Fair Lady do we remember from 7th grade, you ask? Please do go on singing in a nasally Cockney, you ask?
TWOULD BE OUR PLSUR

Ten answers missing their starting “H.” Just like how they'd be pronounced by Eliza Doolittle before the the brave Enry Iggins teaches her code switching. And then the unclueds at 36A, 17A, and 25A are HERTFORD, HEREFORD, and HAMPSHIRE: three keywords from the linguistic torture porn sections of My Fair Lady.

If you don't know this play, we feel bad for you, son. Ninety-nine problems. Not being able to solve the November 2014 Harper's cryptic is one.

As tis, even those of us now annoying Sweet V with showtunes while he's minding his own business reading the new William Gibson, yes even we lucky ones still got messed up on this knowledge content-based theme. Thought it was HARTFORD. Even believed we confirmed on Googlo that it's HARTFORD. Yah, woops. HERTFORD. Eat your hert out. Dear Reader Eric, that's where we thought the error was.

For-sure error in the footer, tho. Shoulda said “November.” Look, there! The error! BEHOLT!!

Highlights!

• 18A) Mercury or Saturn—that's a bit of a tautaology (4)
  bit of tAUTOlogy = AUTO

Ahhhh!! Like-a-the cars! Nice. Perhaps you read this clue as we did, amused, saying, “but they have ENTIRELY different purview it's couldn't POSSIBLY be a tautology OOOH Maltby, you've done it again!!”

• 20A) Englishman's back to swinging both ways, as entrée to Italians (7)
  ((Englishman's = SIR) * back = RIS) + (TO * swinging both ways = OTTO) = RISOTTO

Those British men! Swinging about!!

Your grandma Quentin Crisp is this month's Nerd Hot Guy

• 22A) I get seated uncomfortably for pictures (7)
  I SEATED * anagram = IDEATES

Mwa! Lovely! Smooth storytelling. Could be a line from an EB White memoir, right?

• 34A) Engineer helps aid constructions contributing to touchdowns (7)
  HELPS AID * anagram = HELIPADS

Helipads!! So fun!! Let's name helipads in cinema ok we'll start! The helipad in Jurassic Park. Ok your turn.

• 35A) Wheels that make you mad, mad, covering the full gamut? (5) MAD + (full gamut = A [to] Z) = MAZDA

Appreciate the two uses of “mad.” Would we have been surprised had both “mad”s been used the same way? We would not've. But then this clue would be moved to the Lowlights section.

• 1D) The man needs a lush, all-encompassing, quiet, Southern subset of doctors (12)
  (The man = HE) + A + (lush = DRINKER) + (quiet = SH) + (Southern = S) = HEADSHRINKERS

Nice. Old school language (fresh language). Makes up for the length of the clue.

• 4D) Going off to flashy places where farmers get high? (7)
  TO FLASHY * anagram = HAYLOFTS

Nice surprising anagram! Farmers get high! Perhaps on online dates?



YOU DONT HAF TO BE LONELY
FARMRS ONLY

Lowlights!

• 12A) Unconventional theorist? Hm? Nearest thing to it! (9)
  THEORIST HM * anagram = THITHERMOST

Pffffffffffffffft. Meh. It's ok. Still a lowlight, but ok. Tellya what if they'd tried to pull off THITHERER tho. Well. Then we'd feel the special delight we feel every time we get worked up about the Harper's cryptic. Oooh!! Get that pulse racing!

• 14A) Pauses, managing a rescue (7)
  A RESCUE * anagram = CESURAE

Never hearda. Booo. We hate learning. Thought it would lead with CAE- but like it'd be one of those words where if you were feeling fancy you'd do some ligature like CÆ. But naw no ligature. Cese and desist.

• 32A) Narrated story that gives the Chinese weight (4)
  (story = TALE) * (narrated = homophone) = TAEL

BUh have we mentioned that we hate learning ok actually we love learning, actually we're bashful not to know more about Chinese weights and measures. But TALE to TAEL? Single letter translation? Woof. Yah we know it's not an anagram. But, like, when the homophone is so close orthographically then it's like moooooooooo (moo-urns).

• 37A) Long-tailed cats, ones riddled with mysteries, so they say (8)
  SPHYNXES

Another really dum homophone. Dumophone. Yah so the puzzle instructs call this one out as “unusual” and if you're like us, then you shrug and say, “wha like the one Oedipus defeats? The answer to the riddle is man! The answer to the clue is not so unusual!” Why the homophone indicator this be a synonym yo! Yeah but and so with a “Y” it's a real-life breed. oO

Breed Standards

Wedge-shaped heads with prominent cheekbones
...
[ blah blah —ed ]
...
Whiplike, tapering tail from body to tip, sometimes with a puff of fur on the tip, like a lion

Source: Wikipedia

• 38A) Start with hello, right? The heart of Nelson Eddy does this (6)
  (Start with = W) + (hello = HI) + (right = R) + (heart of Nelson = LS) = WHIRLS

Exhausting. Convinced ourself it was SWIRLS for a long time.

• 5D) Alcoholic content of party: a furtive sip (5)
  (party = DO) + SIP = DIPSO

A party is a “do”? Fine. Dipso?? Was sure it was TIPSY longtime.

dipsomaniac (n.) Look up dipsomaniac at Dictionary.com "drunkard," 1858, from dipsomania; slang shortening dipso is from 1880.

Source: Etymonline

• 6D) Irregular who art where the vattles are ... (5, two words)
  WHO ART * anagram = HOT WAR

As opposed to ... a cold? war? Umunununun. If [x][y] esists, then [-x][y] exists? No. You've heard of cornrows; therefore, corncolumns. You've heard of dreadlocks; therefore, dreadopens. We could keep going. You've heard of right to die; therefore, left to die.

You know where Wikipedia redirects “hot war”? To “war.” Yah.

Theme necessitated not breaking down how many letters per word lest the jig be up. But then, doesn't this sort of elephant-in-the-room cluing exactly raise the jig? Look up, see it? The jig? There's an elephant on it?

The Tacky!

Yah so even though truly we loved the clues this month overall, there were a whoppin THREE we call “tacky.”

• 13A) Two acts and he's a goner (4)
  (acts = DO) * two = DODO

He's a goner. This one made us sad. For the Earth.

• 28A) One of three South American flowers planted inside. One grows ... (5)
  One grows = NEGRO

Yah so. Just, doe'n't feel comfortable writing that. It's just the Spanish word for “black.” What's the bigs? Yah. We feel you. But if you're inviting us to alienate ourself from our emotional instincts ... good luck. Five years ago, two years ago, woulda been much easier. This year, you would have a rough go of it. Not gonna alienate ourself from our feels. And the feels? They're bad and weird, even contextualized by Latin America.

• 10D) Touring East, dancing role exhausts people who do it religiously! (12)
  (East = E) + ROLE EXHAUSTS * anagram = HETEROSEXUALS

Longtime readers knew we were gonna call this one out. What religion? What orthodoxy? The religions and orthodoxies so pervasive they need not be named.

Maltby has clearly never heard of the OTO, and eleventh level ritual buttsex.

This clue, it's like: why not “Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve”? Why tremble at the precipice? Just go for it. Name the infidels, the unclean, those whose way of love profanes the Creator and Creation. Say it. Queers are going to hell. Say it.

Tell it to the sisters.

Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. Know and love.

Yah we're a little punchy this month. Ya.

Do that which is sacred unto this blog's kreator. Leave a komment!

News Clippings - September 2013

Triumphant return, everyone! We hope you all had lovely summers. Welcome back to TackyHarpersCrypticClues.blogspot.com.

For la Septembre, the theme: symmetrical halves to the grid, except for the two 1As. The puzzle title was “News Clippings” and each clue was a double-threat that read like a headline, preceded by an appropriate(ish) newspaper section which—most incredible puzzle instruction in Harper's ever—was included “just for fun.”

Just for fun!

So had our thinking caps been properly strapped on we would have keyed in on the theme of Ye Old Media Papre of Yestreyeer and potentially nailed the 1As early, as opposed to dead last:

• 1A) Obituary: CREATOR OF PROBITION (“THE MAN WITH THE VITAMIN”) DIED—NAME INVOLVED IN PERJURY SPREAD IN PROMINENT LETTERS (6,8)
  creator of prohibition = BANNER
  (the man = HE) + (vitamin = A) + (died = D) + (perjury = LIE) + (name = N) = HEADLINE

Do you get it? “BANNER HEADLINE” in the puzz right where the banner headline is on a newspaper: By the way, that clueing for HEADLINE is just, like, excruciating.

This puzzle was hard. Since we were such a dodo about 1A and thus couldn't enter any fill until the triumphant end, we brought out the big guns to keep track of which answers jibed together.

Big guns, you ask? That's right. We brought out the Scrabble board and the markers. And, luckily, most of our first answers were in what turned out to be the left half of the puzzle, and we were able to make some wild conjectures that led to accurate inferences that put this one to bed in two days. Not one of the glorious single-sittings of summer 2012, tis true. But still flowing nice and steady, like a river, or a morphine drip.

Highlights!

• 10A) Science Page: ENGINEER GREETED CLEAN ENERGY SOURCE WITH EXHAUST PIPES DECENTRALIZED WHEN IT GETS DARK (7,7)
  GREETED * anagram = DETERGE
  (energy = E) + (exhaust pipes = VENTING) * decentralized = EVENING

An especially nice flow between halves (“clean energy”).

• 14A) Automobile News: BEING INSIDE FIRST-CLASS RETRO CONVERTIBLE (AND IN STATE!) MAKES ME BLURT: PEOPLE CAN LOSE THEIR HEADS AFTER RIDING IN THIS! (7,7)
  ((first-class = A1 = AI) * rev = I A) + (AND IN * anagram) = INDIANA
  ME BLURT * anagram = TUMBREL

From etymonline:

tumbrel (n.) mid-15c., “two-wheeled cart,” ... Notoriously used to take victims to the guillotine during the Reign of Terror.

Dark! “Death Cart: the cart that drives you to your death!”

• 17A) TV Review: DISCOVERED BACK IN POLYVINYL DWELLING WITH A BLUE COLOR, OLDER MAN IN DADA IS DEPICTED IN GREAT TV SERIES (6,6)
  polyvinYL DWELling * rev = LEWDLY
  (man in Dada = RAY) + (great = G) + (TV series = ER) = GRAYER

Mmm that wordspanner reversal in the first half! YES. Blast from the past on that TV reference but we forgive, we forgive.

Also just now, in real time, our lovely boyfriend Sweet V whilst reading over our shoulder asked, “Ray? How is that Dada?” V is from Romania, the same nationality as key inventors of Dada. He speculates that Dada was a Romanian joke about art, right to art's face. Having had close contact with a Romanian for nearly a year we speculate same.

But V'd never heard of Man Ray. Man Ray! His photos were no joke! Man Ray is an automatic Highlight! While we're on the topic of TV series—great TV series —check out Noah Wyle still hitting his marks on that first ER monologue. YES! Love!



Noah Wyle! You are this month's TackyHarpersCrypticClues.blogspot.com Nerd Hot Guy!

Young and clean cut (cheetah print!)

Older and tastefully grizzled

• 1D) Gossip Column: BREAKING WIDE: I PLACE DOTTY HANGING AROUND WILLIS' EX! SEEING EACH OTHER AGAIN? I'LL BE WRITING IN ANOTHER DAY (10,10)
  I PLACE (Willis' ex = DEMI) * anagram = EPIDEMICAL
  double synonym = BACKDATING

“Back dating” as in “those two? Are they back dating again?” Mmmmmmmmok we'll allow it!

Speaking of Willis's ex, here's Demi Moore and the Kootch deboarding, and oh-so-gently received by TMZ. TMZ, that most generous of media. And also if right now you're like, “uh your blog has a typo, it should be Willis',” dude, no. Possessive singulars ending in s take the apostrophe and s. Get out dat Strunk & White. Open 'er up. What does it say. You're welcome. We know. Yes, everyone does it “Bruce Willis'.” Yes, we know it looks funny the other way. Sometimes the truth is hard.

This clue also reminds us of Jackie Harvey's Gossip column in The Onion. “Item!”

• 6D) Business News: STRIKE SUPPORTS, LEVERAGED OUT, SWAMP INTERNAL WORKING (SHOWN IN HD), WRITES INTERIOR (10,10)
  ((strike = S) + LEVERAGED) * anagram = EVERGLADES
  (INTERNAL * anagram) + HD = HINTERLAND

Two glorious anagrams! Hinterland! Very nice. Always enjoy when an indicator is in fact anagrind material. Fresh take!

• 11D) Fashion News: A FAST-MOVING NUMBER, NIGHTGOWN'S STARTING TO GET FASHIONABLE—YET SHIFTS, OLD MAN, GO RIGHT OVER ALMOST NOTHING (6,6)
  (nightgown's starting = N) + (fashionable = IN) + YET = NINETY
  (go right = GEE) + (almost nothing = ZER) = GEEZER

“Ninety” like driving fast, in miles per hour, on an American highway mmmmmmmmmmmmmmok we'll allow it. “GEE” like in how you get your team of oxen to go left. We learned that from Reading Rainbow probably 25 or 30 years ago in the episode where LeVar Burton goes to an Amish farm.

GEE and HAW. Never know what's gonna resonate, what's gonna stick with you and be of use.

Lowlights!

• 7A) Empoyment Want Ad: A LOW-RENT EX-SERVICEMAN, UNOFFICIALLY I'M PURSUING PUBLIC RELATIONS IN PARTICULAR (4,4)
  A LOW * anagram = AWOL
  (public relations = PR) + I'M = PRIM

Just didn't like. Maybe it was the reference to public relations? Also, we were sooooo certain that the first half would play on VET and thus we built a neurological dead end and brought our sleeping bag and just camped out for a couple days.

When your intuition has you on the right track then sometimes that can work and you say, “mmmm! I'm like Columbo up in here, sniffing it out! Your book smarts will never defeat my qi!” but when it doesn't you're just like, “argh! Why did I let myself be guided by feeling?”

• 12A) Western Hemisphere: A LATIN PRESIDENT SIMILARLY GERMANIC, ENDS UP IN WILD (5,5)
  A + (Latin = L) + (president = IKE) = ALIKE
  GERMANIC ends = MANIC

O mang, took forever thinking up synonyms for “Germanic” and only getting “Teutonic” which is way more than five letters, and didn't break up into neat components as a synonym for “wild.” But then, like the girl next door, the answer we were looking for was right there in front of us. (whispered: right there, the whole time)

• 2D) Police Blotter: CROOKED PUNK WARY OF NOT FINISHING RAN OFF IN VAN WITH ITALIAN FLOWER (4,4)
  WARY * anagram = AWRY
  ((OF * not finishing = O) + RAN) * anagram = ARNO

Every time with that flow-er = river. Every time. Just one time, let's see flow-er mean “menstruater.” Fresh take!

Also, any Dear Readers out there know how to parse “van” here? There is such thing as Van Arno but we doubt that is the reference.

• 3D Sports Page: BALLOONS APPEARING WHEN OPENERS IN DETROIT, DENVER, SEATTLE RUN OVER—MAVERICK'S I, NETS 12—ODDLY MENTION BOXING RING (8,8)
  (D + D + S + I + NETS) * anagram = DISTENDS
  MENTION + (ring = O) * anagram = NOONTIME

More tortured clueing on that first half. Booo!

• 5D) Washington Beat: HOUSE COVERAGE OF OLD REPUBLICAN STANDING UP FIRST ON REVERSING CASES REGARDING MUSICIAN IN HISTORY FIRE! (4,4)
  OF + (old = O) + (Republican = R) = ROOF
  ON * reverse * cases + (regarding = RE) = NERO

Of course the famous musician is Nero. #ofcourse note! Wikipedia tells us that Nero probably wasn't fiddling during the Great Fire. So the next time someone brings it up like at a party or in a Huffington Post comment or something you can say, “ACTually ... !” Then everyone will say, “thank you for letting us know.”

• 13D) International News: RULER OVERTHROWN, SIREN ON CART SOUNDS FOR BRITISH SPY (5,5)
  RULER * anagram = LURER
  (ON + (cart = DRAY)) * homophone = ANDRE

From W'k'p'd'a:

John André was a British Army officer hanged as a spy by the Continental Army during the American War of Independence.

Never hearda. But, there you have him.

The Tacky!

Let's call out what we always call out, and what we always call out is male normativity.

• 16A) Advertising News: PRESS FOR DIRECTIONS—THEN YOU'LL SEE ME NAME STAR'S TREAT TASTIER (7,7)
  (directions = N E W S) + ME + (name = N) = NEWSMEN
  TASTIER * anagram = ARTISTE

Meh. All the Press is All Man? Tell that to Cokie Roberts. To Maura Liason. To Connie Chung. We could go on. To Mi-chele Norris. To Audie Cornish. To what's her face, the mean blonde one. Tip of the tongue. Anne something.

(Googles ... )

Ann Coulter! She was the first hit for “mean blonde republican,” by the way. Not a comment on her politics, just on how she conducts her public persona(e). And w/r/t tackiness qua sloppiness, is the noun “artiste” really symmetric to the possessive modifier “star's”? Mmmmmmmmmmno. It is not.

Also

Did you, Dear Readers, check the specs on some BULLSHEET in the puzzle footer this month?

Beginning with this month's puzzle, the sender of the first correct solution opened at random, rather than the senders of the first three, will receive a one-year subscription blah blah

O RLY. Is Ye Olde Meedia exactly raking it in these days and no, certainly not. Do we begrudge them cutting corners with respect to the puzzling fanbase why YES we most certainly DO.

Anyway. Here's our winning puzzle from April, hanging proudly in the kitchen:

If you feel something, say something. Leave a comment.