So this post will be barely edited (read: long and rambleh) while a couple scenes of footage from our show, BLOGJOB, render in Premiere for the next 45 mins. Don't tell us about how you hate editing in Premiere. Guess what? We've heard your rant. Guess what? It's what we're doin. It's just what's hannin. Believe.
Too much scaffolding in this post already! Alla this blah-blah would normally be cut! This time, it's not! But! Dear Readers! An important and majestic something has occurred! And that is that: the miracle has arrived! Yes, it's finally ha'en'd! Lo! A missive!
Foolishly we thought this might be fanmail from one Richard E. Maltby. But it was even better: the hand-scrawled letter confirming that we were a winner of the April 2013 cryptic contest.
CALLOO, DEAR READERS
And here we thought we were the only one out there still writing business mail by hand. That's how we request to be removed from junk mail lists when the junk mail arrives. The upshot is that we rarely receive mail of any kind, let alone good mail. If you're itching to send us mail, you can do it care of: BLOGJOB, Box 409012, Chicago, IL 60660.
To the puzzle!
Nothing really to say about it, puzzle-wise. Very regular. Familiar theme. Solid, steady. A white rice kind of puzzle.
- 11A) Architectural feature due me? That's what it says! (4)
(DUE * homophone = DO) + ME = DOME
- g) Topics for redesigning a study for a scientist (6)
TOPICS * anagram = OPTICS
- e) Check on trade requiring, therefore, holding a degree from Wharton (7)
(therefore = ERGO) + (degree from Wharton = MBA) = EMBARGO
About 20 minutes left on rendering! Don't stop now, team!
- h) Pastoral letter from Benedict, upper-class pain in the gut (7)
(letter from Benedict = B) + (upper-class = U) + (pain in the gut = COLIC)
Highlights!Both of the big twelves were very nice here:
- 16A) Darlings heard by orators in hats (12)
((Darlings = DEARS) * homophone = DEERS) + (orators = TALKERS) = DEERSTALKERS
- 24A) Peculiar quality sailor held in place—this shows restraint (12)
(quality = TRAIT) + (sailor = JACK) + (held in place = SET) = STRAITJACKET
- 31A) Animal from pound running after one (4)
(pound = L) + (running = ON) + (one = I) = LION
- 4D) Look! The gentleman's upset an animal (5)
(Look = LO) + (gentleman's = SIR) * (upset = anagram) = LORIS
- 10A) Headgear with the front cut off for the city (5)
(Headgear = TURBAN) - first letter = URBAN
- f) Spooky and kinda not like a container! (7)
UNCANNY (double syn)
The Tacky!Two kinda tacky. One is is mildly lewd. The other sexist-y. Nothing truly untoward. Nothing about rape. That's saying something. Isn't it bad that that's saying something? It's bad! Here they are:
- f) Habit-forming item endlessly allowed to be put on wuss (6)
(wuss = WIMP) + (allowed = LET) - last letter = WIMPLE
... It's possible that we've already told this story before in this blog? No time to check! Onward!
This softcore lesbian authoress read from her book and hooooooow hard is it to make sexy fair maidens sexy? Not hard, right? But this passage was boring and bad. It made us mad, and sad. As we recall, the only things that happened in the passage were a quickened pulse and a dropped bowl of hærbs.
As Nikki said afterward, "there was nothing medieval about that book. It was just San Francisco, with wimples."
"Nikki, we have to write and publish two books, just to bring the world back to zero!" we said. Ok, the bouncing icon in our Dock has informed us that we're done rendering that BLOGJOB footage. Gotta wrap this up.
Dunno about you, but growing up it was very clear to us that "wuss" was a bare euphemism for "pussy." Like "frack" for "fuck." Lewd. Thanks, Maltby.
Here's the other tacky.
- One might be fond in bed with a crazy person, rising around one after gym (7)
(crazy person = AUNT) + (one = I) + (gym = PE) = PETUNIA
This clue seems to come from the deep dark heart of "crazy spinster aunts" and Miss Havisham and her-only-fulfillment-was-through-her-siblings'-children. From the dark place of "failed woman."
EDIT! Per Dear Reader Tyler's obso, "a crazy person" = A NUT. Because there's an indicator for a reversal. Which we ignored. Because we felt like it. So, nevermind! Nevermind! This clue escapes our outrage.