Wednesday, November 16, 2016

This is not a review of the November 2016 puzzle.

Sisters and Brothers. i'm going to write in the lower case first person.

In September i thought that guy might win. Then in October i thought he wouldn't. Now it's November, and i was wrong about being wrong. And it's weird. And i'm sad. And angry.

A good day for the KKK is a bad day for the United States.

A good day for the American Nazi Party is a bad day for the Republic.

It's gonna be bad days for a while.

To those saying, “aw give him a chance” … it's like we're all tied up in the passenger seat of a car and a drunk clown is shambling toward us slurring, “I'm your driver‑elect!!!” Like, i don't need the clown to crash the United States into a tree before i know he's a bad driver. Romney, i'd give a chance. McCain, a chance. Bobby Dole, a chance. Not just Bob Dole '96, i'm talking 93-year-old Bob Dole 2016. Bob Dole as he is to us now. A dying Bob Dole. i'd give him a chance. Rubio, a chance. Even Teddy Cruz, son of Se├▒or Cruz. A chance.

Not this clown. Here he comes now, opening the car door, lips curled in a pout identical to (this is scientific fact) his butthole. “Would you believe, I've never driven a car before? But I've played a lot of 'Grand Theft Auto'!” Then he pukes onto the wheel well.

For my part, i'm reaching out to people i haven't talked to in a long time and making an effort to be more generous. Last night we heard our downstairs neighbor struggling with her door and invited her up for tea and snacks while she waited for the locksmith. The other day at my local coffeeshop, often crowded with loners at their laptops taking up two-person tables, i put up a little sign.


If you're looking for a seat, i'm happy to share :)


i'm displacing a LOT of anger onto my grandmother, who is ecstatic about the election. If she brings up politics at Christmas, i'm going to ask to record video of her expressing her views. Then i'll tell her that my children probably won't be old enough to remember her before she dies, but i'll make sure they know exactly who she was, and what she stood for.

The Romanians in my life are afraid. Romanians are not a people who scare easy. They see what the Americans in my life deny could ever happen here.

Dear Readers, the impossible is already happening. So my imagination is no longer tethered to precedent. Maybe the wall is built with free prison labor, a fucked up slavery. Maybe come 2020 a nuclear attack is secretly orchestrated on a Democratic West Coast city, simultaneously wiping out opposition voters and bringing the US into a state of emergency. That's a move straight out of the playbook. We're already witnessing evidence of conspiracy with a foreign nuclear power. We're already witnessing playbook moves.

i'm reading a book on persuasion by a pick up artist guru, following the advice of Sun Tzu. The chapter on cult leaders was eye opening. Paraphrasing key points:
  1. keep language simple and vague (any red hat slogans come to mind?)
  2. create an “us vs them” narrative
  3. attract large groups — you can hold a crowd in thrall with words that might leave an individual merely skeptical
  4. swaddle yourself in the appearance of wealth, conceal that your true income comes from your followers
This kind of cult political figure doesn't cede power willingly, or alive. Historically.

Anyway. i didn't finish the puzzle this month. i didn't finish the summer puzzles either. If you seek an apolitical comedic blog review of the Harper's cryptic crossword puzzle, look elsewhere. i wish you well, lovers and non‑lovers alike.